Engaged sorority sister acting as though she is single at the bar - Page 3

PureGoldF2K1 · #31 12-06-2004, 02:15 AM

Oh God, no, do not tell her fiance!! She's your sorority sister so unless her fiance is your biological brother, it is in no way your place. The only people who know the ins and outs of their relationship are your sister and her future husband. Even if you were to find out that your sister were sleeping with other guys, its STILL not your place to say anything...its not YOUR relationship! (Although, you could always advise her to get tested so shes not passing anything on to her fiance..its only fair..)

It sucks to feel stuck in the middle, but if you said anything, then you'd REALLY be in the middle.

James · #32 12-06-2004, 01:30 PM

Pick one of the nighs where you guys are out . . and then have someone call the fiancee and invite him to meet you . . or better yet to give you guys a ride . . that way when he gets there he can see the way she acts . . .

A questions though. Shouldn't he realize she is like this? I mean thats an enormous misread for people about to be married.

valkyrie · #33 12-06-2004, 01:32 PM

Maybe he knows and doesn't care...or LIKES it.

AGDee · #34 12-07-2004, 12:17 AM

While I agree that her irresponsible behavior regarding her sisters is an issue to the sorority, I don't see how her relationship with her fiance is anybody's business except his and hers.

XOMichelle · #35 12-09-2004, 12:58 PM

I think if it really bothers you, you should talk to your friend. She might not see that her actions could hurt someone else.

However, I think is bs to "act like you are engaged". What does that mean? Once you have a ring, you can never talk to men again? A man in a bar can never buy you a drink? You can't dance with anyone who isn't your betrothed? Suspend the judgment of youth, you never know what might happen to you.

dphies00 · #36 12-12-2004, 01:58 PM

Quote:

I mean isht, I flirt with guys at the bar, and I'll bet $$$ that the boy flirts with girls at the club.

Guys - they're engaged to be married!?!? Married - like they are each others' decision makers in life, death, financial situations, etc. Do they have a wedding date picked out? Are these two people who should be starting a family - I don't mean with kids, but obviously they are on different pages when it comes to spending their free time.

It would seem that this guy doesn't go out to the club to flirt with other women and this girl makes a habit of flirting with other men. They are at a disconnect. I have a few friends engaged, from college and post-collgiate life and while I don't think there are 'engaged' behavior patterns, there are actions that a person who respects their relationship to another would not engage in. This guy trusts this girl - but does he know how touchy-feely she gets around others when drinking? Is his trust based on a full picture and understanding of her social behavior and how it makes others feel? And, on another note, this woman is not a very good friend or a sorority sister. Guy code - trust of sisters - if this guy is ready to stand in front of a priest, minister, rabbi, whatever and declare his heart, mind, finances, future, and health to this woman, he sure as better know how she might be during her bachlorette party.

I would not but my nose in if they were dating, even seriously dating. They are engaged - he took two months' of his salary or his savings or his family heirloom and gave it too her. If there is no progress, I would confront her finace with a co-ed group and ask him how comfortable he is with her social behavior. Why don't you talk to his friends and see what they think about her behavior?

AKA_Monet · #37 12-12-2004, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
Maybe he knows and doesn't care...or LIKES it.

Truer words...

dphies00--

Although I understand your sentiment and agree with most of it I do think that the ultimate responsibility for a maritial relationship is on the two who are to be married...

annice22--

Yes, you are this girl's sorority sister. Yes, you made a pledge to her to be real. Yes, her fiance is a friend and roommate of your group of friends.

So why did this "nice guy" ask this "floozie" to marry him? Obviously, he must of known she was the way she was before he asked her... Or is he that clueless? Whore smell can only be burnt off... Ain't no amount of Lysol gets rid of that smell. So to me, I have to agree with Valkayrie, your boy probably knows all about her bangin' the Hockey Team... Your boy might be setting gwirlfriend up for alter jilting... Or call the whole thing off... Don't discount your boy to fast now... He cain't be that stoopid... Can he?

Or there may be an "swinger" relationship going on that you and your sorority sisters ain't privy to know that information...

They may just like to "share" and "wife swap"...

33girl · #38 12-12-2004, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Or there may be an "swinger" relationship going on that you and your sorority sisters ain't privy to know that information...

They may just like to "share" and "wife swap"...

True. This is more common than many people realize. Heck, maybe she's bringing guys home and they're sharing them.

If you feel she's doing things that are besmirching your sorority's reputation, bring her in front of standards board and terminate her. There's really nothing else you can do about it.