advice pls

[winneythepooh7]

As someone slowly approaching 30, I can understand the reservations of your chapter. I find it difficult to see how someone in their 30's can mesh well with girls 18-22. I think 18-22 year-olds are great but we are also at 2 different places in our lives for the most part. That may sound discrimnatory if you are 18-22 reading this post, but when you get to be my age (28) and away from the daily happenings that go on in a lot of sororities, you would understand. What is her schedule and family responsibilities like? Does she work? Someone else posted it here and this is the bottom line I think: DO YOU LIKE HER AND WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THIS WOMAN? Is she going to be around for traditional college "stuff" like parties, overnights, roadtrips, random shopping trips to the mall and anything that traditionally goes on in a sorority that helps bond everyone together? On the other hand, there are many people in their late 20's and early 30's who don't even look or act their "age" and I don't mean that in a negative way. Knowing what I know now at my age that I didn't know back then (or want to know LOL) I feel too that any "older" student could also be a great asset to any sorority. Overall, again, I think it comes down to if you girls like her and want her as a friend and sister, and does she feel the same way? Or is she just trying to do a bunch of things she didn't do when she was "younger" if you know what I am saying?

[AGDee]

Back when I was in school, there was a woman in my Occupational Therapy program who was in her early 30's. She had goofed around a lot right after high school, got married and divorced very young and figured out that it was time to get herself to college. She wasn't in a sorority, but she would have fit into one easily. Our OT program was kind of like another sorority because there were 50 of us who had all the same classes together for two years straight. We became close friends, partied together, studied together, etc. Faye fit right in with us totally and I ended up forgetting that she was 30. She wasn't in a "different place" because she lived in an off campus apartment, just like the rest of us, was struggling by living on financial aid, just like the rest of us, was fun-loving and liked to go out dancing, just like the rest of us. She was living the full college student experience and would have been GREAT in a sorority. I think this just depends on the person.

My $.02

Dee

[PiLove]

I totally agree with ADGee, I my alpha class there was a 32 year old. She was a senior and had been in college for a long time. She had an amazing personality and being that she had been around longer than us she had alot of college and life stories to tell. She ended up going alum after one semester. She wanted to be part of ADPi for the organization itself. She had good experiences with sisters in the past at her old school so when she transfered to Sac State she decided to finally rush. Some people along the line forget that sororites aren't just "4 years, for life." Granted the "typical" sorority activites of mixers, roadtrips, greek sing etc...might not apply to the older generation, the dedication to your sorority and the oaths are universal, regaurdless of age.

[phisigduchesscv]

Just because she's in her 30's doesn't mean that she won't be an asset to your chapter. I've told this story before as there are many other threads about older PNMs and/or grad students so you might want to do a search on it.

I was 32 (and a grad student) when Phi Sigma Sigma colonized at CSUDH. I work on campus and had stopped by their information booth to get information for girls that were in my program. The woman at the booth asked "what about you", I responded that I was 32 and her response was "so" same response when I said i was a grad student. After talking to her more I thought I'll just go to the informational meetings to see if they really mean it. They did mean it. Next thing I knew I was being offered a bid card and became a founding member and the sisterhood development chair for the sorority. The next year I was the president of my chapter. I don't regret it for a moment - I believe in what we say - Once A Phi Sigma Sigma, Always a Phi Sigma Sigma. In fact, I just became an alum this past May and now am on the National Programming Team and am working on getting an Alum chapter started for Los Angeles. As someone else posted, we tend to forget that a sorority isn't just 4 years of college but is for life!!

The age difference didn't matter to me or the younger women - heck most of them were closer in age to me then my blood sister is - their the age of my nephew. I didnt go to any of the parties, but there are 18 year old sisters who don't go to parties so what is the difference. I did go to the official socials there and the guys didn't seem to mind either and seemed to like the fact that fraternities aren't the Greeks who will take "older" new members. I was an active participant in the chapter and also have made some lifelong friends among the "young" crowd. Some of us go shopping together, movies, dinners, etc. We don't really notice the difference in our ages

As for worrying about her not having the time to do the recruitment, let her be the judge of that. Only she knows what her time commitments are - that is one advantage of being "older" we have really learned how to juggle our life so that we have time to do what we really want. If she didn't have the time to commit to the sorority I'm fairly certain she wouldn't have put herself through all of the process to try to join.

I hope you will really give her a chance and not cut her just because of her age. you might just be surprised by what a great sister she will make. let us know what happens please.

Carolyn

p.s. This past year in my chapter there were 3 of us that were around 36, a sister was 40, and we initiated a 48 year old woman in the Spring. The "Rocking Chair Club" as we called ourselves were all very active with the chapter and have developed great friendships with sisters of all ages in the chapter.

[azdtaxi]

I don't know this just seems weird. We had a 26yo in our pledge class and she just joined to get it on her resume. She didn't mesh with us at all. And even at 22 I feel strange around 18 yo in the chapter because I am at a completely different place in my life. I guess it all depend on past expierences and where you are in your life.

[33girl]

Originally posted by azdtaxi
I don't know this just seems weird. We had a 26yo in our pledge class and she just joined to get it on her resume. She didn't mesh with us at all.

If you had an 18 year old who just joined to put it on her resume, I wager she wouldn't have meshed with y'all either. Look at the motivation, not the person.

[azdtaxi]

Originally posted by 33girl
If you had an 18 year old who just joined to put it on her resume, I wager she wouldn't have meshed with y'all either. Look at the motivation, not the person.

never thought of it that way ... so true