This thread had me cracking up!
I went to a Redneck wedding about a year ago. It was my best friend's cousin's wedding. My friend wasn't dating anyone at the time and didn't want to go to her redneck family's function alone. I got to go with her. Lucky me.
For starters, the bride bought her dress in a cream color. She thought the dress was white because the store lighting was dim (notice: she got her dress at a Goodwill type place). Anyway, she threw the dress in her washing machine with some Clorox to bleach the dress back to white.
The dress ended up all splotchy. To top it off, she REEKED of bleach.
The ceremony took place in a beautiful park on a wooded bridge. The only problem was that they didn't want to pay for some fold-up chairs so we could all sit. We stood on a shakey wooden bridge for the whole ceremony. The park is located right by an airport. We couldn't hear the bride and groom saying their vows because the airplanes were flying overhead the whole time. The "VROOOOOOOOOOOOM" sound drowned out the whole ceremony. Luckily, the ceremony was only 15 minutes long since the priest had another wedding ceremony to perform that day.
The reception was held at a decent restaurant. I'll give them that.
Except, there was no wedding cake, no throwing of the bouquet, and no dance floor for the bride and groom's first dance.
The best man got really drunk off of Arbor Mist (the only alcoholic beverage provided). He stood up and said, "Finally, these two have exchanged vows and can now get in the sack. (snicker)" The bride's family were devout Baptists. The look on their faces was priceless. You could have heard a pin drop in that room after his speech.
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