what's the funniest thing you've ever heard a drunk person say?

[AOPIHottie]

My friend Tommy, king of the stupid quotes drunk AND sober, one night in a bar he decided to start yelling "Anus A**!!!!!" at the top of his lungs. For no reason, no one was talking to him. And so he got my friend to start yelling it too. So this tiny lil girl and this tall broad guy are sitting at the bar yelling Anus A** as loud as possible.
Ok, guess you had to be there.

another time, I absolutly hate being called a b*tch. You can call me anything else except that. and all my friends know this. So my friend(tommy again) is TRASHED on Jack Daniels and wants me to go get beer. I say sure as long as i can have one. He looks at me and says "I already gave you rum you greedy b*tch-Oh my god you hate that word!!!" and grabs me in this huge bear hug and pins my arms down saying to everyone else-"she is out of hitting range, right?" Needless to say as he tried to run away he hit the sliding glass door. Now that was funny.