Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[GlickThetaTau]

I have heard very few stories of people not getting a bid for the organization, in fact it is much more common for people to get 2 or 3 bids. One story does stick out. A girl cheated with the boyfriend of one of the sisters. The couple broke up after days of the cheating, broken up by the guy. The sister was an alumnus, and despite their differencies the girl and the sister became friends, but despite this fact the other sisters put their noses where they didn't belong and did not give this girl a bid, even though it was her one desire during college. She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks but because of this one event (yes it is pretty big) she was not given a bid and treated very poorly by the sisters. Essentially they sisters had made up their mind before they even met the girl.

Now if one does not get a bid i have to think that they did something to anger the members of the organization. It has been my experience that organizations want numbers right off the bat. Thats what the pledging process is for so that you have a chance to personalyl interact with someone and truely find out their character. You cant learn everything about someone during rush, especially if your opinion of them is already tainted

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by GlickThetaTau

I have heard very few stories of people not getting a bid for the organization, in fact it is much more common for people to get 2 or 3 bids. One story does stick out. A girl cheated with the boyfriend of one of the sisters. The couple broke up after days of the cheating, broken up by the guy. The sister was an alumnus, and despite their differencies the girl and the sister became friends, but despite this fact the other sisters put their noses where they didn't belong and did not give this girl a bid, even though it was her one desire during college. She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks but because of this one event (yes it is pretty big) she was not given a bid and treated very poorly by the sisters. Essentially they sisters had made up their mind before they even met the girl.

Now if one does not get a bid i have to think that they did something to anger the members of the organization. It has been my experience that organizations want numbers right off the bat.

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

It doesn't sound like you're very familiar with NPC recruitment.

Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Maybe I've misunderstood, but from what I've read here on Greek Chat, isn't it possible - though perhaps not likely - to receive more than one snap bid during formal? And can't a woman receive separate bids to different NPC chapters during COR/informal recruitment?



Maybe. However, this comment "She went to almost every rush event for 2 weeks..." sounds typical of NPC's COR or informal recruitment. Perhaps that is one of the ways some/all of the NPC chapters recruit on his campus.

Yeah, I guess if you put it that way, in those instances it's possible. But it certainly is very possible to not get a bid during informal since spots in chapters are often very limited in number. It doesn't sound like this guy really understands the way sorority recruitment - formal or informal - works.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by jessXIca

women rushing panhellenic sororities cannot receive more than one bid

On my campus, it was possible to receive multiple snap bids or informal recruitment bids. However, it was not possible to receive multiple formal recruitment bids.

[Symbal]

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

I think you missed where achiosnap said:

"Don't let a thread on an internet message board cloud your opinion on Greek life. None of us know your school. It's up to you to sort through all the advice and opinions on Greek chat and decide for yourself what's applicable to your situation."

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I also have issue with "You did something wrong, that's why you were cut." But those of us who WERE cut will not know what that specific thing IS because we will never be told. How do we accept that, then expect to improve on it if we know nothing about what got us cut in the first place? Maybe it was my being too shy, or it very well could have been my pants were from old navy instead of Saks. The advice is so vague it's barely worth looking at.

Then don't look at it. That's kind of what I was getting at.

PNMs will never know why they're cut. It's not just because membership selection can't be discussed. It's because a lot of times the members themselves don't even know all the reasons. It's not like a sorority will hold up a picture of a PNM during voting and everyone will be like "OMG she wore Old Navy instead of True Religion jeans, she is SO cut."

Unless a PNM is a complete basketcase or is known as the biggest ho on campus, there's almost never one specific reason a PNM is cut. Suffice it to say, sometimes there's nothing you can do to "improve" because you probably don't need to improve... it's either a bad match or there are a limited number of spaces and the sorority has to take the best matches first.

This is a really bad analogy but here goes: pretend a man is trying to win your heart. He may be really nice, funny, cute, whatever but something just doesn't "click" with you. He's still a really great person, and you wish the best for him, but he's just not right for you. There's nothing he'd be able to do to "improve" so you'd be more likely to date him. It's not about his jeans or his shyness. It's just not a good personality match. A lot of times PNMs just don't click with a sorority either and it's not personal.

I hope that maybe sheds a little bit of perspective on this....you're only going to make yourself crazy if you try to figure out what you did "wrong" and get discouraged by anecdotes relayed on Greek Chat. I re-read your recruitment story and your posts since you tried COB and I know this has been really hard for you. If you want to try recruitment again, you probably shouldn't keep reading the bad rush stories and the "why you got cut" threads because it's only going to freak you out. These threads are only designed to give PNMs an "aha" moment as to why they got cut ("Oh, so Ole Miss sororities wouldn't bid a pregnant junior with a 2.2 GPA?"). If the advice doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because it doesn't apply.

[ChildoftheHorn]

Umm...there are some reasons beyond people's control.
I had people tell me straight up that I was dropped because of:

Major (against engineers)
Hyper Involved in campus (they thought I could not make the time)
Accomplishments (nothing said "social" and not "geek")

The common one was that I didn't fit the personality of the house, which was true for all of them (I felt the same way). The reason why I asked was basically because I had interviews for internships and wanted to know where to improve.

Funny thing was that after the whole process was done, a lot of those girls I talked to during Rush then friended me on Facebook.

*engineering has a GPA around a 2.7-.8 overall, whereas the all-women's is 3.3-3.4....which is why they cut a lot of engineers no matter their current GPA.

All these girls then started inviting me to all these different things and they were pretty chill. They were right about me not fitting the personality of houses, even I knew that.

Just come to the truth that if you don't fit the house, you don't want to be there.

Things happened just right for me, a new group came to campus. The only reason I joined was because I loved the girls who joined. It is really a sorority of girls who fit my personality, the one that was missing on campus.

If it is meant to happen, it will!

[KSUViolet06]

I think this one deserves to be brought up again. There was a quote by OleMissGlitter in another thread that I wanted to re-post here:

Originally Posted by OleMissGlitter

In the words of a very wise Director of Greek Life at Ole Miss, "Rush is not a guaranteed process."

I will never forget when I heard those words when I went through rush at Ole Miss in August of 1996.

[ZTA_Lover]

OP, I think thats a little nasty.. like people have said, so much can happen and your experience depends on so many different things... and different schools have completely different recruitments, if you go to a rinkydink school then the rush is probably easier. being cut definitely DOES NOT WHATSOEVER mean you don't have qualities that stand out. My sorority has cut so many amazing women based on the mere fact that we can't take EVERYONE we like....so how can you pass a judgement on all pnm's who got dropped? How do you even know? and even if you felt that way, why be nasty and start a thread about it?

Originally Posted by ZTA_Lover

OP, I think thats a little nasty.. like people have said, so much can happen and your experience depends on so many different things... and different schools have completely different recruitments, if you go to a rinkydink school then the rush is probably easier. being cut definitely DOES NOT WHATSOEVER mean you don't have qualities that stand out. My sorority has cut so many amazing women based on the mere fact that we can't take EVERYONE we like....so how can you pass a judgement on all pnm's who got dropped? How do you even know? and even if you felt that way, why be nasty and start a thread about it?

I'm going to assume that you're new, based on your Join Date.

If you've been around here long enough, you'll know that James' posts aren't usually meant to be nasty. IMO, he likes to take a 'devil's advocate' stance -- which usually gets on the nerves of many here. Even though I may not agree with him most of the time, I find that kind of attitude refreshing, especially in the Recruitment forum. There's too much blowing sunshine up the ass here, it's disgusting. PNMs and their parents should know that they should keep things realistic -- even if those who keep it real get labeled as nasty bitches by the Recruitment nazis.

Also, take notice that this thread was started back in 2003. I was around back then, but I can't remember what was going specifically as far as rush threads go. Something back then may or may not have prompted him to start a thread like this.

There are lots of other nastier threads on GC. If you're going to participate in discussions, you might want a thicker skin.

[Amalia17]

+

[Rudey]

We took people based on two things:
1) What they could give us.
2) What we could give them.

That simple. And I tend to think that you will always be cut for a reason and not letting your personality shine through isn't some crutch - it's still messing up.

-Rudey

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
For girls we haven't bid, I won't give you the specifics (ie "Heather got cut because at SigEp's last party she gave my boyfriend a lapdance then took off her shirt")

You weren't supposed to tell anyone.