Rush - What to NOT do or say - Page 3

KSUViolet06 · #1 05-04-2007, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amiki246

Hi. I read all the post on recruitment advice and what not to say. I rushed a sorority and I rushed more than once and I did not do a thing that would fall under the category of "don't say this or don't ask that" and I still did not get a bid. I am a nice and friendly person and I tried to get around and speak to all the girls. I remember one girl even asked me if I would ever want to live in the house or be on their executive board and that was only my second night there. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently. Not getting a bid made me really upset and I have gotten over it, but there are still days when I see girls wearing letters and I say to myself "what is wrong with me? how come I did not get a bid?"

Not that this makes it any easier to handle, but honestly, not getting a bid to sorority does not mean that something is "wrong with you." You are not less of a person or somehow flawed because of it.

It's best not to worry yourself thinking about why you weren't extended a bid. Membership decisions are private so, you'll never know why. All you can do is speculate, and that will just make you upset when you start thinking of possible reasons.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amiki246

And this is kind of a different subject, when rush was over, some of the girls I spoke to and that were nice to me, will either not even look at me or give me a "haha you did not get a bid" or a "I am better than you" look. Why is this?

I'm willing to bet that most of them don't think less of you for not receiving a bid. If they do give you dirty looks, that's just being immature. Girls can be immature sometimes.

Mapple · #2 06-08-2007, 11:16 PM

I am going through recruitment in the fall as a sophomore & I have a few concerns.

I rushed last year but was cut by round 3 from the sororities that I felt a connection with. I went to prefs to give the two I had left a chance, but I knew they weren't for me. I dropped the day before bid day. What do I say about this experience during this year's rush?

Is wearing the same outfit for both days of round 1 or 2, even though you go to different houses, a faux pas?

Kind of weird question, but what are everyone's thoughts on perfume? I feel like I read somewhere not to wear it for rush, but that sounds off to me...

Thanks

MerryGPhiB · #3 07-21-2007, 01:22 PM

I too wish I had known all of this well, more than 20 years ago. Here is an additional suggestion of what not to ask. How do you compare yourself to XYZ sorority? It sets the PNM up in a potentially negative light and could be reworded as , How does your sorority do in comparison on campus/panhellenically regarding grades ( or whatever topic)?Be more specific with the question about that house vs another. When a PNM asks better questions they will normally get better answers and it will show an organization you are interested in them.

Heres a few more
How do you select your members? What is your selection process? My friend said that because I had mutiple recommendations, that means I get in, right?, Since my grandma, and mom and sister are all XYZ you have to take me, dont you?

Shommy · #4 07-27-2007, 12:13 PM

this might be a stupid question but, when we are rushing and are at the chapter houses, should we eat if they have food out?

adpiucf · #5 07-27-2007, 12:18 PM

Accept the food and drink if offered to you. You don't have to actually eat/drink it if you don't want to.

Something to keep in mind: some houses won't offer water, only soda. Soda can leave a bad taste in your mouth, especially when it is hot outside. So stash a bag of breathmints with your belongings (your recruitment counselor will keep an eye on your things when you are in a recruitment event).

Ocalagirl · #6 07-27-2007, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Accept the food and drink if offered to you. You don't have to actually eat/drink it if you don't want to.

Something to keep in mind: some houses won't offer water, only soda. Soda can leave a bad taste in your mouth, especially when it is hot outside. So stash a bag of breathmints with your belongings (your recruitment counselor will keep an eye on your things when you are in a recruitment event).

I don't know if its in this thread earlier or in another, but the advice was not to chew gum between rounds because a) you might forget to take it out and b) after you do take it out, your breath can actually smell bad or it leaves another weird taste in your mouth. I thought this was pretty good advice.

I know its hard to remember everything when you are nervous and trying to make conversation with girls, but it truly is good advice.

MerryGPhiB · #7 07-27-2007, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shommy

this might be a stupid question but, when we are rushing and are at the chapter houses, should we eat if they have food out?

Be who you are, if you're hungry eat (okay don't eat everything they put out.) I do agree about the sodas, they may make you more thirsty or the sweet along with the heat can cause a headache. If you've had cookies and punch at three houses in a row, be polite say no thank you.

Frankly, use the food as an opening to ask a house what types of food or meals do they have on meeting night? (if you're at a school which has meetings and dinners together)

I do have to tell you at one school we served chocolate fondue on the second day of recruitment(then called rush) and there were many girls (PNMs)that hoarded the food. It wasn't pretty.

aphimilwaukee · #8 10-17-2007, 01:52 AM

we have the 3 b's rule
no boys, booze or bars should brought up.

kstar · #9 10-17-2007, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphimilwaukee

we have the 3 b's rule
no boys, booze or bars should brought up.

we always had the 4Bs: Boys, Booze, Bible, and Bank Accounts.

Jill1228 · #10 11-20-2007, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kstar

we always had the 4Bs: Boys, Booze, Bible, and Bank Accounts.

add #5
Boys, Booze, Bible, and Bank Accounts, Bush/politics in general

txcutie · #11 12-15-2007, 08:18 PM

i don't think that this has been mentioned but by no means talk badly about not only other sororities, but also another rushee. whether what you say about them is true or not, it will not help you by making you look better than someone else; it just shows insecurity and sororities are attracted to confidence. my school's rush is deferred, so there is a lot of socializing between rushees and sorority girls in the fall semester and sometimes in casual occasions, and i've noticed that freshmen tend to gossip about other girls who are rushing. this is a big turn-off!

denimeans · #12 01-26-2008, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOIIalum

Just because you know 'everyone' in JKL and your 'best friend' is in UV, that does not mean you get a bid. It also doesn't mean that you will even like JKL or UV! If you like PQR the best for you, then that's the answer

This year I had a girl who absolutly could not talk to---She looked bored, seemed pissed off just bad attitude....but this is what made me mad.

I started telling her a little about our chapter, conecting stuff we do to things she was talking about .
Her response "You don't need to tell me about you sorority. I used to date an A E Pi. I already know everyone in your sorority and I know everything about it."

I didn't have much to say......I red carded her...and she didn't get a bid from us or anyone else....she tried informal too with us...

Point being, don't assume/say you know everythingif you don't know me! If the girls are repeating themselves, let them know, but that's it.

As it turns out, she is actually a rather sweet girl, but with her attitude that somehow she should automatically get in, she will never get in anywhere.

gocolonials · #13 05-17-2009, 08:12 PM

I'm a sophomore rushing in the fall, and I'm kind of in a sticky situation for the "no politics/religion" rule...ALL of the student orgs I'm in are either political or religious groups. What should I do if a rusher asks me which student orgs I'm in??? Thanks!

SWTXBelle · #14 05-17-2009, 08:23 PM

Tell them - but don't go off on a rant. Concentrate on the philanthropic aspects of the orgs and your leadership role(s). Trust me - they have been told not to be controversial. They should be able to steer the conversation to neutral ground - if not, you can change the subject. Turn the subject around to the chapter and what THEY do if you feel uncomfortable.

gocolonials · #15 05-17-2009, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Concentrate on the philanthropic aspects of the orgs and your leadership role(s). .

Thank you SO much for the advice! I've been really worried about that. I'm actually going to be the community service chair for at least one of the groups.

Would it be OK if I tell a rusher that one of my top reasons for considering a sorority is the philanthropy element? Is it okay if we talk about that? Or should the conversation be about other things?