Quote:
Originally posted by jazbri:
Original Ape,
I don't believe that when a person cheats its with the intention to hurt. I sincerely believe that the issue is when making the decision to go outside of your relationship, one has to be prepared for all repercussions. The initial repercussion is the loss of trust between both parties. The cheater is definitely not going to trust the person they cheated on due to the fact that they're waiting for the action to be reciprocated. I experienced that with him along with all of the other trauma of a broken relationship due to infidelity. In your previous posts with Sexy Mocha, you made the comment about a person being driven to cheat. Because I've experienced this firsthand, I must say that that is a total crock. Yes, I can be woman enough and 'human' enough to admit that I did my wrong in the relationship; however, I feel very strongly that my actions do not determine his unfaithfullness. God has blessed us with the ability to make decisions in our lives. Hence, when things are REALLY bad in a relationship, don't play the victim and DECIDE to cheat. Be an informed adult and DECIDE that this relationship is not going to work and DECIDE to get out before you DECIDE to cheat. I'll get off my soap box now! PEACE
[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited September 13, 2000).]
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First; we all have different ways of seeing things, AND different levels of patience. Secondly, I agree with you. I believe a person should just end it once they see "the change"; but leaving may not be their best option-especially if the cheater HAS demonstrated love for their mate. I know of many situations where a man/woman cheated and it had nothing to do with ANYONE'S feelings. Nor did it have anything to do with the condition of their relationship. It's a sign of the times. I don't advocate cheating; I realize it as an ugly fact of life. The point I've been trying to bring home is that it's not always the man's fault. Also, I wanted to note that leaving may not always be the best option. Some situations call for a customized fix.
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