Legacy dropped R1 recruitment

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by GoGoolia

Hi,
I am a new member and an AOII alum. My kid just dropped out of recruitment so I am sad. It was not what it was cracked up to be and ended going virtual at the last minute. She is pretty, outgoing, Captain of the Volleyball team. But never got to meet chapters. Just videos back and forth. Not the recruitment she had hoped for.
Julia

I read in your other thread that your daughter dropped out of rush entirely. What a shame she didn't go through to Pref with the chapters that she had left on her schedule. Really a shame. She might have found a wonderful sisterhood. I know it is hard to come back from a huge disappointment. I can only imagine how hard it would be to encourage your daughter to continue with the process, but that is what moms have to do.

[GoGoolia]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I read in your other thread that your daughter dropped out of rush entirely. What a shame she didn't go through to Pref with the chapters that she had left on her schedule. Really a shame. She might have found a wonderful sisterhood. I know it is hard to come back from a huge disappointment. I can only imagine how hard it would be to encourage your daughter to continue with the process, but that is what moms have to do.

Mom's also have to respect their daughter's maturity level and ability to make their own decisions. My daughter felt that the virtual process was not working for her. It was only decided the day before that recruitment would be virtual, which I am sure, no one was happy about. She did not get to meet all the houses, she only got to watch their videos and they hers. She also decided to go through recruitment at the last minute so did not know much about the houses and had to judge them based off their recruitment video. She felt like she did not get a feel for the houses and visa versa. She liked the houses that invited her back so that was not the issue. She wants to go through it again after she gets a better idea of the houses and not just based off a video or when she actually gets to meet them in person.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by GoGoolia

She wants to go through it again after she gets a better idea of the houses and not just based off a video or when she actually gets to meet them in person.

I think a lot of PNMs get the idea that they have a big choice at the beginning of recruitment.
They really don't.
The weight of choice is on the sororities' side for most of rush. They're the ones releasing PNMs. Certainly a PNM can express her preference, but that comes way down AFTER the sororities release or don't - that's why "unwanted" sororities keep showing up.
About the only time that a PNM's choice reigns supreme is when she ranks her pref day choices.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I think a lot of PNMs get the idea that they have a big choice at the beginning of recruitment.
They really don't.
The weight of choice is on the sororities' side for most of rush. They're the ones releasing PNMs. Certainly a PNM can express her preference, but that comes way down AFTER the sororities release or don't - that's why "unwanted" sororities keep showing up.
About the only time that a PNM's choice reigns supreme is when she ranks her pref day choices.

THIS THIS THIS! If any PNMs or their moms are reading, please note this! The material that Panhellenic passes out seems to suggest that you can just waltz right in and happily select your favorite.

[AnchorAlumna]

I know my sorority has eliminated the requirement to contact the legacy connection.
There simply isn't time. And what are they going to say? "We hated your daughter?" Of course not. All they can say is, "Sorry." And they'll never give you a reason. They may not even know - she just came up short in the numbers.

[carnation]

I have heard that a lot of people who made those calls were verbally attacked by the mother or sister.

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by carnation

I have heard that a lot of people who made those calls were verbally attacked by the mother or sister.

I've lived it, and it is not pleasant.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I know my sorority has eliminated the requirement to contact the legacy connection.
There simply isn't time. And what are they going to say? "We hated your daughter?" Of course not. All they can say is, "Sorry." And they'll never give you a reason. They may not even know - she just came up short in the numbers.

I would think that an email should suffice, rather than a phone call.