Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteRose1912
I can't understand why this person thought he was being discriminated against because no one wanted to see the outline of his junk.
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Well. As I stated, I wasn't alone when it came to wearing spandex/dri fit/compression clothing. There was atleast 10 others. 1 of which is male. There may be more, but of the list that I counted, I knew of one.
Had it been a complaint about the clothing in general and addressed that way then yes I would have no issue with it. But it was directed at me. It could have been addressed that compression clothing made others uncomfortable, and we as a chapter needed to find a solution so it doesn't get out of hand. instead of singling out one brother, we could have spoken about it as a chapter.
We're all supposed to be respectful adults. We're all supposed to be college students. We're all supposed to be equal brothers. However, how is it fair that a few brothers (male) could be topless at events, could wear compression clothing, and can dress however they want. Then there are a few brothers (female) can wear sports bras that may or may not have their nipples pointing out, a few brothers wear compression pants or yoga pants that is skin tight. Others who wear far more revealing clothing. But there is no reaction to that. Even the advisers didn't say anything about it. They ignored my complaint for the most part and refused to speak about it. But when it came to me, I made someone uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that they avoided events.
Maybe discrimination is the wrong word. But it's not fair and very unjust to allow everyone else to wear whatever they want and garner no complaints, but for me, it garnered complaints. Spandex/compression/dri fit clothing isn't the only clothing that shows a bulge or a lining. there are countless other clothes.
At the same time. It's not my fault I'm male. It's not like I'm walking around in a speedo or walking around naked. No, i'm wearing a tshirt and shorts. I have one short that is neon green, the rest are black. The black ones, yes you can see a lining, but while we're in doors and not in direct light, it takes effort to even see the lining. The neon green, there is no lining, it's just a bulge like cyclist shorts. I do have a pair of white shorts, but those are worn out and are starting to rip so I don't wear those to school anymore.
The same rules, the same bylaws, the same judgement, the same concepts should apply to us all. It shouldn't only be towards one or two people. Otherwise what we're promoting isn't equality, we're promoting a double standard. Bias, and discrimination. On a personal level, you don't have to be fair or equal. But when you get the organization involved, that's when fairness and equality should come into consideration.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger
So what I'm struggling with is this.
I believe you. But I also believe someone was uncomfortable because of what you wore. The bottom line is this: when you cause an issue for someone else even when it was unintentional and you didn't "do anything wrong", you apologize.
Your brothers may not have understood your medical condition. Your brothers were rude. Yes. But that doesn't make you a victim.
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I understand. I could have been the bigger person that day and apologized. I just didn't feel that I should be the one apologizing. I was not in the wrong.
Medical condition, that can be ignored because its a confusing condition. One even my doctor didn't understand, he kept calling it Acne. And the dermatologist was no help either.
The jokes. We're all to blame. I'm to blame for not stopping it at the start. They are to blame for not realizing how their words can hurt others.
The bottom line for me was: The same concepts should be applied to everyone, not just me. If spandex is revealing and makes someone uncomfortable. That would mean they should have a problem with spandex no matter who wears it. Not just one person. It shouldn't be that its only revealing on only one person, it should be revealing on everyone who wears it.
Pretty much it's "if you don't like it when one person uses a certain thing, then it shouldn't be ok for anyone to use that thing." If you say x doesn't bother you when they wear something, but y does, then it's not equal treatment. it's unfair.
The comment about not showing up to events because of me is distasteful, disheartening and rude. It should not have been said in that way. To blame someone for you not showing up to events, is not the way to go.
If they didn't like me or was uncomfortable around me. There is one other way to handle it. To just ignore me. Stay away from me. No one is forced to be around me, no one is forced to talk to me. No one is forced to look at me. We had roughly 30-70 members (pledges and actives) at every event. I'm just one person. I'm not the active chair, I'm not the fellowship vp, I'm not in charge of the event. there is no reason they had to be around me or give me any attention whatsoever. Being at the event did not in any way require them to look or be around me.
But hey. What's done is done. What's said is said. It was a learning experience. Something I hope I don't have to experience again. On a personal level, sure I'll experience it again. I have no doubts about that. But on an organization level where equality should be considered, hopefully it doesn't come into play again.
Hybrid Mode
