THE "bottom" sorority

[pinksequins]

33, my point is that getting to know members well may take a bit more effort. One way is to capitalize on the weekly meetings by having a "follow-on" such as asking some of her new sisters to go to dinner with her or get a pizza.

[33girl]

That's what I said. I was quoting you in response to carnation's very dramatic post. And to carnation - nowhere did I see that the daughter is deeply unhappy they don't have a house, feels robbed of the experience etc, she just wishes the sorority was looked upon more favorably.

It kind of slays me that young people will knock each other over to get to the latest technology and such, but when it comes to Greek life, new = bad.

[carnation]

It wasn't dramatic in the least; it was simple and true. 33, many GCers know the SEC Greek culture and we wouldn't dream of commenting on Pennsylvania Greek life. Please don't try to tell us how it should be down here.

[irishpipes]

The big and beautiful Greek houses aren't just vanity splurges. They are a huge tool, not only for recruiting, but for bonding and sisterhood. Large chapters DO have trouble bonding if they don't have a home base. It isn't the be all and end all of the sorority experience, but it is important to chapter operations. We all can see how it impacts recruiting if everyone else has a house and your chapter doesn't. But, it us much more than that. Chapter members need a place where they will interact in normal situations - not just mixers or planned events. It isn't realistic to go have coffee or dinner with that many members. A house is tremendously helpful.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

The big and beautiful Greek houses aren't just vanity splurgenly for recruiting, but for bonding and sisterhood. Large chapters DO have trouble bonding if they don't have a home base. It isn't the be all and end all of the sorority experience, but it is important to chapter operations. We all can see how it impacts recruiting if everyone else has a house and your chapter doesn't.

No one is saying that this isn't the case.

The fact is, the OP's daughter's chapter doesn't have a house, so she has to make the best out of what she's been dealt. I don't see where anyone is out of line in attempting to find solutions to make things easier. Making friendships in this situation will require work. It's a struggle for a new chapter to establish itself on any campus. The people here offering up ways for the daughter to connect with her sisters and suggesting that she try to put her best foot forward and be proud of her chapter don't seem to be out of line. And these things can be carried over to any school.

In the end, the daughter needs to try to get past the reputation, connect with her sisters, wear her letters with pride, and figure out a way to be happy in her new chapter, regardless of what others think. If she doesn't, then her collegiate sorority experience will drag and be terrible.. or she'll drop and be on the outside looking in. I'm willing to bet she wants neither of those situations to come to fruition.

The daughter already sounds like she's getting used to things and seeing past the rumors and gossip. From the mom's post, she made it sound like she was struggling with this more than the daughter. If that's the case, she needs to move past that and support her daughter and her chapter.

ETA: By the way, it wasn't known until the end of page 1 that this was even an SEC/competitive campus (because carnation figured it out), so people were speaking generally, rather than specifically to a post that read, "My daughter attends an SEC school with over 100 girls in her pledge class, and her chapter doesn't have a house and the PNMs don't want to join because of that.. blah blah blah". Instead, people were responding to the OP saying that her daughter was unhappy, she's warming up to the house, and her and her sisters are trying to figure out how to bond.

[carnation]

Let's just say that on an SEC campus with houses, a chapter that is not only unhoused but is unlikely to ever be housed is going to struggle. And it has been noted that on such campuses, some of these chapters (not this one, I hope) try to market themselves as the un-sorority for girls who never would've thought of becoming Greek. Since these girls often decide that attending most sorority functions is beneath them too, it does not end well and I really feel for involved girls who are caught up in this.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by carnation

Let's just say that on an SEC campus with houses, a chapter that is not only unhoused but is unlikely to ever be housed is going to struggle. And it has been noted that on such campuses, some of these chapters (not this one, I hope) try to market themselves as the un-sorority for girls who never would've thought of becoming Greek. Since these girls often decide that attending most sorority functions is beneath them too, it does not end well and I really feel for involved girls who are caught up in this.

Definitely. I think that's why people are suggesting that the OP's daughter and her sisters should try to make the best of the situation and work hard to make the chapter the best that they can with who and what they have.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by carnation

Let's just say that on an SEC campus with houses, a chapter that is not only unhoused but is unlikely to ever be housed is going to struggle. And it has been noted that on such campuses, some of these chapters (not this one, I hope) try to market themselves as the un-sorority for girls who never would've thought of becoming Greek. Since these girls often decide that attending most sorority functions is beneath them too, it does not end well and I really feel for involved girls who are caught up in this.

ANY social sorority at ANY school that markets itself as "the alternative" but rushes with the rest of the social sororities is not going to end well. What sounds like pride and happiness to the members who say it sounds like arrogance and/or defensiveness to the rushees and other Greeks who hear it. You can be quirky, but you still have to dig the things that are basic parts of being in a sorority.

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Uh, no. No one said that.

Originally Posted by carnation

Let's just say that on an SEC campus with houses, a chapter that is not only unhoused but is unlikely to ever be housed is going to struggle. And it has been noted that on such campuses, some of these chapters (not this one, I hope) try to market themselves as the un-sorority for girls who never would've thought of becoming Greek. Since these girls often decide that attending most sorority functions is beneath them too, it does not end well and I really feel for involved girls who are caught up in this.

It was implied.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

ETA: By the way, it wasn't known until the end of page 1 that this was even an SEC/competitive campus (because carnation figured it out), so people were speaking generally, rather than specifically to a post that read, "My daughter attends an SEC school with over 100 girls in her pledge class, and her chapter doesn't have a house and the PNMs don't want to join because of that.. blah blah blah". Instead, people were responding to the OP saying that her daughter was unhappy, she's warming up to the house, and her and her sisters are trying to figure out how to bond.

Are you OTL? The OP states competitive SEC school in the oriiginal post!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Are you OTL? The OP states competitive SEC school in the oriiginal post!

I don't know what OTL means…

And sorry, I must have missed that. But again, I don't think what anyone was saying was out of line with what the OP asked. They were still responding to this:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Instead, people were responding to the OP saying that her daughter was unhappy, she's warming up to the house, and her and her sisters are trying to figure out how to bond.