Disappointed Mom

Ack02554 · #1 08-26-2014, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pamt

Thank you so much for such a great response

I clearly remember asking if going to the Frat House during Rush week was "appropriate" and she assured my she was told it was fine just not to talk to other sorority girls at the time. One even asked her name which retrospectively was probably a very bad omen. It is hard for her and I won't lie, to me, as we thought we prepared well and to possibly have blown this over an innocent evening or past jealously from last year, is a very "teachable" thing.

Don't forget that your daughter was on campus for a whole year already. It sounds like she's made friends in the Greek community. It honestly could be anything, it might not even have to do with this most recent visit. It just stands to say that a year is a long time to make questionable choices.

And remember that these are 18-22 year old women, their reasons aren't always rational.

Pamt · #2 08-26-2014, 03:23 PM

It's kind of ironic as last year she kept commenting on how "drunk" the girls were and she (seriously) rarely drinks. She knew some were envious of the guy she was dating but then again, said they were so drunk, she doubted they'd remember her...

Katmandu · #3 08-26-2014, 03:59 PM

I can't figure out why she thought it was an "innocent evening". Having been on campus for a year, dating a fraternity guy and evidently raising some emotions in sorority girls, I am having a hard time buying what she's selling, mom. She knew at some level this was risky/not a great idea. I also agree that the "hating some" may be significant. She may have shown some of her attitude and it bit her, especially as a soph.

BlueCarnation · #4 08-26-2014, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pamt

It's kind of ironic as last year she kept commenting on how "drunk" the girls were and she (seriously) rarely drinks. She knew some were envious of the guy she was dating but then again, said they were so drunk, she doubted they'd remember her...

Not sure why it's ironic. If they were at the same fraternity house on a frequent basis last year, she would be a known entity to them, especially if she was a non-Greek dating a fraternity man. If she knew they were envious, it would seem foolish to even risk it.

Also, as someone else pointed out, you said she "hated" some of the houses. If she "hated" the houses, there is a good chance she wasn't particularly at her friendliest when she went through; word gets around to other houses because girls have friends in every house.

Hopefully she has learned from this. She is lucky to have a supportive mother like you who seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

DeltaBetaBaby · #5 08-26-2014, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pamt

It's kind of ironic as last year she kept commenting on how "drunk" the girls were and she (seriously) rarely drinks. She knew some were envious of the guy she was dating but then again, said they were so drunk, she doubted they'd remember her...

Your daughter sounds really judgmental. Maybe that's why she was released.

33girl · #6 08-26-2014, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Your daughter sounds really judgmental. Maybe that's why she was released.

I met this girl and I cut her like whoah!!!

In all seriousness, if you have ANY interest in rushing and meet women at fraternity houses, especially if you're dating a brother, always be kind, friendly and gracious. (Note I didn't say "sorority women." This applies to ALL women you meet because you never know who is friends with who.) What you want is for women to go back to their friends and sisters and say "I know I should hate that Susie chick because she's dating Danny that Jen likes, but I talked to her and she's really nice."

adiisis - what is fish camp??? (Please tell me it has nothing to do with Troy McClure from the Simpsons.)

AZTheta - I need new contacts. I thought your post said "I wouldn't say we're eggplants."

Pamt · #7 08-26-2014, 05:24 PM

You're right. She is friendly to everyone but should have made an effort to be friendlier with these girls. A lesson learned

APhiLife · #8 08-26-2014, 05:38 PM

So sorry your daughter was disappointed. I think a lot of PNM's think that knowing fraternity guys is a plus- but at my school it could be a double edged sword.
A lot of girls in my house did not like non-greek girls who would hang out at fraternity houses. It sounds weird- but going over to a frat house with a group of sisters was okay but a girl showing up by herself was often talked about. I can look back now and see how ridiculous this thinking was, but with age comes clarity that 18 & 19 year olds do not have.
As far as going to parties etc. during rush week- what one house finds acceptable, another house may frown upon. It's the same as Sisterhood week, etc.- some chapters would let girls go out and party and others were on virtual lockdown.

Pamt · #9 08-26-2014, 05:53 PM

I agree. Her best friend, a non-Greek is best friends with a frat guy and the four of them hung out all platonically. She was never there on her own. The platonic ( really good looking) guy made no secret of the fact he really liked her so that didn't help. I agree that going last week was a big mistake but also agree with some posters that she inadvertently made some "enemies" last year. It is a shame. Every mom thinks her daughter is special and deserves a bid. She rarely drinks, isn't promiscuous, stellar grades in non-fluff courses but made "innocent" decisions that most likely came back to bite her. A very painful lesson......for both of us.

TSteven · #10 08-26-2014, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

adiisis - what is fish camp??? (Please tell me it has nothing to do with Troy McClure from the Simpsons.)

About Fish Camp

Fish Camp strives to welcome freshmen into the Aggie family by sharing the traditions and values of Texas A&M University and creating a universally accepting support system that allows them to build relationships and embody the Aggie spirit.

(I miss Troy McClure.)

Pamt · #11 08-26-2014, 05:20 PM

Hi, She's not judgmental and I'm sorry if it came across that way. There are two points to make that I didn't make clear: She felt that as she often saw the girls drinking "a lot" that maybe they wouldn't remember she was there with a guy they made no secret of liking. (Wrong) Also, she would have accepted a bid from any house. She felt that some of the houses she "hated" weren't friendly or more likely didn't click with her. No matter what the house offered her a bid, she would have accepted