Is GDI better than not getting your top choice?

[33girl]

I'm thinking that maybe for some of these kids (I'm including guys too) this is the first time they find out they're LIKE a certain population, but not really OF them. Despite they and their parents doing everything right on paper, it just doesn't go over. And I kind of have to think that in that case, they're getting a big gift before they find themselves stuck in a job or marriage they may have been able to "pass" into but that if they're honest with themselves, they really are miserable in.

(Yeesh, pardon the tone of this post. I've been reading Freaks and Geeks commentary for too long.)

[TXGreekMom]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm thinking that maybe for some of these kids (I'm including guys too) this is the first time they find out they're LIKE a certain population, but not really OF them. Despite they and their parents doing everything right on paper, it just doesn't go over.

This is very astute. I live in a Texas suburb that is known for its new money. I know a lot of kids from the area who didn't really understand before leaving home that there was even a distinction.

It's the difference between wanting to buy all the Kiel James Patrick bracelets... and taking sailing lessons.

[33girl]

That verbiage isn't originally mine, but from a wonderful book called Something In The Wind by Lee Smith. The main character is (on paper) a perfect Southern belle but she's really not feeling it.

And along those lines, a lot of people confuse proximity with popularity. Yeah, maybe you always got invited to things because your parents had either the money or connections to get you into the right camp/school/dance lessons etc. Maybe you were truly invited for you, but maybe it was because Susie's parents told her she HAD to invite you because Susie's mom and your mom were on a charity ball committee together and Susie's mom didn't want to have to explain why Susie blew you off. Or maybe you were just there and no one thought about you one way or the other. In this age where everyone is told they're special, it's even more of a wrench when you find out you're ordinary. I guess I should rephrase that. Everyone does have something that they can be special at, but sometimes it takes a lifetime to get into the framework where you can find out what it is.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That verbiage isn't originally mine, but from a wonderful book called Something In The Wind by Lee Smith. The main character is (on paper) a perfect Southern belle but she's really not feeling it.

And along those lines, a lot of people confuse proximity with popularity. Yeah, maybe you always got invited to things because your parents had either the money or connections to get you into the right camp/school/dance lessons etc. Maybe you were truly invited for you, but maybe it was because Susie's parents told her she HAD to invite you because Susie's mom and your mom were on a charity ball committee together and Susie's mom didn't want to have to explain why Susie blew you off. Or maybe you were just there and no one thought about you one way or the other. In this age where everyone is told they're special, it's even more of a wrench when you find out you're ordinary. I guess I should rephrase that. Everyone does have something that they can be special at, but sometimes it takes a lifetime to get into the framework where you can find out what it is.

33, did you ever read any books by Florence King? Usually told in the first person, she is at a party where she is (purposely) not living up to Belle Standards. The hostess tells her that she's offended Susie Snob, and "mention that you're an Upton!" Florence walks by Susie Snob and stage whispers, "My mother was an Upton" to which SS says something to the effect that "MOST of the Uptons are quite honorable."

[snowflakemom]

Originally Posted by TXGreekMom

This is very astute. I live in a Texas suburb that is known for its new money. I know a lot of kids from the area who didn't really understand before leaving home that there was even a distinction.

It's the difference between wanting to buy all the Kiel James Patrick bracelets... and taking sailing lessons.

Great observation. I see this too. I'm in a position where I work with old money people, new money people and middle class people (I belong to the last category) and you are exactly right. Growing up in middle class suburbs in the 70's/80's, I had no idea about how other people lived. I knew some people had more and some had less (thanks to John Hughes films) but it wasn't that different from me. Then I went off to a college that had mostly middle class kids some "new money" and I realized there was another world out there. Now, in my current job, I see extreme wealth that has been in families for generations. It's been very interesting to observe the unwritten social rules of all three income levels. All three income levels are made up of wonderful people and some not so wonderful people.

With social media, I think high school and college students are so much more aware of class divisions but might not know where they fit in exactly.

[carnation]

bump for 2023! There are some great posts here and things that never change over the years.