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Membership in a sorority is voluntary; it comes with responsibilities, requirements, and obligations. If you are struggling so much with this issue of attendance prior to recruitment, you might want to reconsider. Honestly, it sounds to me like you want to partially participate, essentially when it is at your convenience. If you're willing to accept the consequence of being fined for missing a mandatory meeting or event, that's one thing. But consider your participation overall, and weigh that against what you have been saying, and what you're truly willing to do. All of us have had to make choices and sacrifices at times.
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"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
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