Trusting the system when there is bad situation

[PinkPaisley]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible:

1. Unless you are part of that sorority or its national organization, how is it that you can speak to the degree of probation that a chapter is on? I did not speak of the level of probation it was on- or state that it is was NPH or school- but this info is available on many universities websites, along with the GPA's..

And if you do know, consider if it is your info to be spread? In this case it is public information, Im not spreading it Would you like it if this were your kid's house? I am not sure what you mean by this- it is what it is
Please don't spread this sort of thing during recruitment season. "This sort of information" is public on many universities websites and I am coming here looking for insight, not to spread rumors.

Do you know how many times I've heard "I heard XYZ is closing next year?" from PNMs.


2. It seems like you are asking if there's some course of action that can be taken if your kid gets this chapter on her pref list. There is no "delete chapters I find to be too small for me to join" option within the recruitment software. This was not the case at all, you may be reading too much into what I wrote, or have read many posts where parents are looking for in- that isn't the case at all-- or I have stated this completely wrong in the original post. I stated that this was right now is hypothetical situation and I was just looking to gain some insight from knowledgeable people and it might be a good topic for discussion. This also has nothing to do with size of the chapter. My daughter chose this school because it was a smaller school, and had smaller classes, and smaller Greek chapters.

3. If she would not accept a bid from them, they do not need to be on her pref list. If that chapter is one of 2 options for her and she would like to ISP (tecnical term for "suicide") that one house, she needs to ask herself she'd be okay without a bid if it meant not having this chapter as a second choice (remember that any chapter a PNM attends for pref and lists on her card could end up being where she matches.) I really believe my daughter was/is trying to do the right thing by asking me my opinion- I did not really know what to tell her because I have never seen a situation like this before. I personally would love to see this chapter come back, and be as strong as the others in the future. The school is in our town, and we love it and support it fully! We also believe that Greek life is important to the growth of the school.

4. Small note: Discussing how terrible and undesirable a chapter is does not help its reputation or help it to get any stronger. For example, your kid joins the house that is NEXT to Smallest Chapter. Continued trash talk hurts Smallest Chapter and they close. Your kid is now in the NEW Smallest Chapter. See how that works? So please take it easy on them because it could be YOUR kid's hypothetical group at some point.

If you think that I was posting to speak badly of sorority- I am sorry that you took it that way. That was my not my intention, I took a very long time trying to word it so it would not be taken as such. My daughter is not into what level an organization is in the scheme of the Greek life on campus. I did not believe I could come on here and say, "well their gpa has dropped" and have the readers who I am asking advice from truly understand the situation. I took ONLY what I knew to be factual information and softened it so as not to appear harsh. To be fair, I also did not state that they were closing, I said there was talk of it--and yes, I am aware of how unreliable this could be, yet that talk in addition to the other info, is what made me reach out to the people here for their opinions. My daughter is concerned about what would happen to new members if something like this did happen. Would there be other options for her in this situation? And yes hypothetically- just for discussion purposes

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PinkPaisley

If you think that I was posting to speak badly of sorority- I am sorry that you took it that way. That was my not my intention, I took a very long time trying to word it so it would not be taken as such. My daughter is not into what level an organization is in the scheme of the Greek life on campus. I did not believe I could come on here and say, "well their gpa has dropped" and have the readers who I am asking advice from truly understand the situation. I took ONLY what I knew to be factual information and softened it so as not to appear harsh. To be fair, I also did not state that they were closing, I said there was talk of it--and yes, I am aware of how unreliable this could be, yet that talk in addition to the other info, is what made me reach out to the people here for their opinions. My daughter is concerned about what would happen to new members if something like this did happen. Would there be other options for her in this situation? And yes hypothetically- just for discussion purposes

Her options should she pref there:

1. Attend and list them as her 2nd choice and see what happens with the UNDERSTANDING that if she lists them, she could get a bid from them.

2. ISP. Cool if she'd rather not be in a sorority than pledge this group.

If she lists them on her card and gets a bid there:

1. Accept and give it a shot (there are entire threads here about giving your second choice a shot.)

2. Decline her bid, knowing that she may not join another group for a year.

That's pretty much it.

If you get a bid to a chapter you do not want, there is no "I got a bid here and I don't want it, can I pledge somewhere else?" option. You either take it and give it a shot or you decline and wait a year to go through again. The key is determining whether you would accept. If you go to a pref party and you KNOW you would rather not be Greek than get a bid to a chapter, do not list it on your MRABA (pref card.)