Importance of Recs vs. friends

[33girl]

7 recs at another southern school might have been OK, but I get the impression from what I've read about UVA that 7 recs there will annoy the chapter and get the PNM a big giant "buh-bye." Unless the girl has friends who know her and will say "OMG, don't blame Blair for that, her mom is kind of a trainwreck and goes way overboard but she is nice."

I don't think this particular instance had anything to do with deferred rush. UNCalum said these were the daughter's friends from summer camp, not people she met the summer before.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally Posted by 33girl

7 recs at another southern school might have been OK, but I get the impression from what I've read about UVA that 7 recs there will annoy the chapter and get the PNM a big giant "buh-bye." Unless the girl has friends who know her and will say "OMG, don't blame Blair for that, her mom is kind of a trainwreck and goes way overboard but she is nice."

I don't think this particular instance had anything to do with deferred rush. UNCalum said these were the daughter's friends from summer camp, not people she met the summer before.

Yeah, I bet by the time the rush chair opened the seventh rec she was probably like, "Ugh; not HER again!!!"

I can't remember where I heard/read this, but I understand summer camp is huge in the South as far as making rush connections.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

Yeah, I bet by the time the rush chair opened the seventh rec she was probably like, "Ugh; not HER again!!!"

I went to a school where recs are increasingly the norm. One rec per sorority was plenty. By the third or fourth, you're looking at the same FORM over and over again with the same activities and honors listed. Far more helpful is a supplement to a rec: a letter of support. If there are alumnae who know you well, they can write a letter talking more in-depth about your accomplishments. If I got 4 letters that all say the same thing, my eyes would glaze other. But if each one characterized the PNM with a little more depth in one area and shared anecdotes, that would be a lot more valuable to help remember her and consider how she might be a good fit.

It's like applying to college. What if your teachers could check off a box indicating that they recommend/do not recommend you for admission and list your honors and activities. Do you really need that box checked off by EVERY teacher? What if just one checked that box and the rest wrote letters where they talked about things like your exemplary attendance and performance in the school play, or how you inspired the yearbook staff to meet a deadline, or how you took care of your family and maintained a 4.0 after the death of a loved one, etc.

At some point sending in the same form with the same information runs the risk of diminishing returns, but who knows? Every sorority weighs recs differently. I merely suggest that quality trumps quantity.

[HQWest]

Yes. We would much rather have one letter of reference that says "I am a friend of a friend of her mother's and we met for coffee. She is vivacious and sweet and loves music and dance. She has won several awards for poetry" than 20 "She has a 4.0 and I don't think she's ever been arrested."