Daughter is a legacy and was cut

[AlphaFrog]

The question she needs to ask herself is if she would rather not be Greek at all than be in the chapters that are recruiting her. If the answer is yes, she should wait for next Formal, knowing that there's a really good chance she won't fare much better. Her other option is to give the chapter a shot. If she decides it's not for her, she can depledge and do Formal. There's the added stigma of having broken a pledge, but I don't know that it's MUCH worse than being a re-rush.

[Old_Row]

I thInk things have changed a lot since you were in school. There are a lot more legacies as each generation gets to school. We can't keep them all and decisions sometimes have to be made.

I don't get how someone can think they don't like a chapter that they have several friends in. You already like them and have something in common. It always sounds to me like someone is more worried about chapter reputation than being honest with themselves about where they really fit in.

If she rushes again it won't be a clean slate like you said. She's been through and got cut before so there's a good chance those houses will cut her again unless something really changes between now and then. I think she should go through again only if she's really honest with herself and believes she will be ok not being Greek at all and can also survive a bunch more rejection because that could definitely happen.

[ADPiEE]

I'm so sorry this happened. As a fellow mom, this is one of the fears that I have for my daughter. One thing that I do know is that, especially at schools in the south with smaller quotas, there's a good chance that there are more legacies going through recruitment than quota and lots of double, triple legacies.

I agree with the advice given above. Please keep us posted!

[33girl]

Did her friends approach her about going through spring rush IN GENERAL, or about joining their group in particular?

Because if it's the former, it may not mean that they think she fits their chapter - more that they want her to check the other groups out and are trying to be Panhellenic.

On a side note - I looked on their website and it seems like ALL the sororities are coming to the kickoff event (even the ones who don't have room for more members). Isn't this the same thing that they did at UF that we all agreed on here was misleading and a waste of time to the PNMs and hurt the sororities who do need members even more?

http://www.uncpanhellenic.com/recrui...3-recruitment/

[UNCalum]

Wow! Thanks for all of the advice! I have a couple of questions...

Do girls in a sorority actually remember from year to year who they cut? I rationalized it that 25% or so will graduate and 25% or so will be new sisters, so only a portion of the girls might remember my daughter having been cut. Do they keep notes from year to year? (with legacies, I bet they actually do). So to re-rush my house will likely give the same results?

Also, from what I understand, ALL of the houses on campus have to be present at the Spring Rush kick-off. Even the ones that have no intention of taking any new pledges. I agree that it will be misleading and probably detrimental to the houses that may not be top tier, but really want to add girls. It's also (in my opinion) condescending to the girls planning to atte

[thetalady]

YES, Mom... the chapters will know who was cut previously. The reason may not matter the second time around, but they almost certainly know that she is re-rushing. Keeping notes is not the issue. We cannot possibly guess if your chapter will cut her again or not.

If I was in your position, I would remind my daughter that she still had chapters to choose from prior to pref. Think of all the girls that had NO chapters to choose from? How much would they have loved to have those same choices? Being in a sorority is a gift of sisterhood. Hopefully she can decide to appreciate & accept that gift from those who offered it to her, rather than focusing on the chapter that she thought she had to have.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by thetalady

YES, Mom... the chapters will know who was cut previously. The reason may not matter the second time around, but they almost certainly know that she is re-rushing. Keeping notes is not the issue. We cannot possibly guess if your chapter will cut her again or not.

If I was in your position, I would remind my daughter that she still had chapters to choose from prior to pref. Think of all the girls that had NO chapters to choose from? How much would they have loved to have those same choices? Being in a sorority is a gift of sisterhood. Hopefully she can decide to appreciate & accept that gift from those who offered it to her, rather than focusing on the chapter that she thought she had to have.

I LOVE this!! Sisterhood is a gift.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by UNCalum

I agree that it will be misleading and probably detrimental to the houses that may not be top tier, but really want to add girls. It's also (in my opinion) condescending to the girls planning to atte

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

[Cane94G8r97]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

Very true words... almost every organization has a chapter at a school where they are doing extrememly well, and a chapter at a differnet school where they might be struggling. "Tiers" mean nothing once you graduate, and you are an alumna SIGNIFICANTLY longer than you are a collegian.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Cane94G8r97

Very true words... almost every organization has a chapter at a school where they are doing extrememly well, and a chapter at a differnet school where they might be struggling. "Tiers" mean nothing once you graduate, and you are an alumna SIGNIFICANTLY longer than you are a collegian.

THIS.

Amen.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Please, please, please STOP this "top tier" thinking. It does nothing but hurt in many ways. Every group has things to offer, every sorority has a sisterhood that they treasure. That is what matters.

It will especially hurt her daughter's recruitment if she's using "top tier" when talking about chapters with her. It's bad enough that the PNMs all gossip about such silly/irrelevant things, but when parents do the same, the PNM will most likely put an even larger emphasis on them, when it really doesn't matter.