How would you handling seeing people who don't like you while rushing

[33girl]

Here's my question. If your HS years were such hell, why on earth are you attending a college where lots of your former HS classmates attend?

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

[33girl]

Because I cannot afford out of state colleges. I don't know if I will see every single one because it is a decently big university, however I do know quite a few people who go there that went to my high school.

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

Originally Posted by 33girl

You don't have to go out of state, just not to the "favorite" college of your HS. Every school has one, you just have to figure them out and stay away. If there's a state school system in place, pretty much all of them cost the same.

That being said, if it's a flagship university (like Penn State, Indiana University etc) it'll be huge enough that you may never run into ANYONE from your HS unless you or they make it a point to. At a huge school like that, it's doubtful that one girl in a sorority is going to say "oh well when we were in 7th grade this girl did blah blah" because she knows it'll make her sound like an ass. The same goes for a small school, for that matter. I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.

I am already in my last 2 years of college so i'd rather not transfer anymore, but thank you. I just needed advice on how to handle it being where I am now. Transferring over and over won't help me overcome it because I know I will see and meet people that don't like me or that I don't like no matter where I go. And okay thank you for your advice! Hopefully all goes well

[justgo_withit]

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

[FSUZeta]

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Very, very true. But she cannot undo the past, so she has to put on her best attitude and face the music.

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

Very, very true. But she cannot undo the past, so she has to put on her best attitude and face the music.

Thanks you are right. That is what I am going to do then. Go in with a positive attitude and a smile.

[justgo_withit]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

You're definitely right, I guess I didn't convey that in what I said. If someone did something bad enough (I was exaggerating with the throwing rocks bit, but I meant "something really awful or scandalous") then a small group can keep someone out of a group, absolutely. But if it was just stupid high school stuff like "she was lame and I don't like her" then it's not the kiss of death, I would think. Though I did not go through a competitive recruitment, so perhaps it could be that way at other schools? I could incorrectly be assuming that doesn't need recs = not that cutthroat. I could also be underestimating the degree of hate between the OP and the actives, or the positions of the actives. If a girl actively hates you and she's the recruitment chair, that's a whole 'nother thing.

[carnation]

Or even if she's a member--she can just collect some "no" votes from her friends and the girl is gone.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

You're definitely right, I guess I didn't convey that in what I said. If someone did something bad enough (I was exaggerating with the throwing rocks bit, but I meant "something really awful or scandalous") then a small group can keep someone out of a group, absolutely. But if it was just stupid high school stuff like "she was lame and I don't like her" then it's not the kiss of death, I would think. Though I did not go through a competitive recruitment, so perhaps it could be that way at other schools? I could incorrectly be assuming that doesn't need recs = not that cutthroat. I could also be underestimating the degree of hate between the OP and the actives, or the positions of the actives. If a girl actively hates you and she's the recruitment chair, that's a whole 'nother thing.

I don't need recs so competition isn't as cutthroat, but that doesn't make some females any less cutthroat lol. Unfortunately, although we are in college I have seen many people hold grudges from high school towards other people. That kind of animosity just worried me I guess.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It can be a HUGE deal. If these girls look at her as an "enemy", they can keep her from being invited back to the next set of parties, not only at their own sorority, but at others too. It just depends on the amount of animosity they feel toward the OP.

Thank you for explaining that, that is exactly what i was worried about. I'm not as worried now reading some of the others' comments.

Originally Posted by justgo_withit

A girl that ruined my life in middle school pledged the same sorority as me- I saw her at a local ice cream place a few weeks ago, both of us in letters, and we just sort of laughed about how we possibly ended up in the same group and chit chatted about our experiences. Unsurprising to everyone but us, we have a lot in common and have hung out and crafted a few times since then. Unless you have serious issues with these girls (like, they can say "in high school she threw rocks at old people and slept with three of my boyfriends and came to graduation on coke) then it's probably not that big of a deal.

I understand where you are coming from, but the person who made the rude comment could have messaged me about the username instead of saying that, hence why i responded with the same level of respect that was received. And sorry that's not how i meant to come off. Like i said i just made up something to quickly be let in the forum. And thanks for your advice.I am glad you made friends with her.