Quote:
Originally posted by Blackwatch
From DST Love...
When a person is engaged to be married, they ARE still single, they are not married. I was engaed for 15 months, lived in a seperate city from our folks with my fiancee' for a year (though in different homes) , and I can tell you, being married is quite different from being engaged. During your engagement, you have a committment, indeed, but if you decide this isn't the partner for you, there is nothing dishonorable in leaving, in some situations, it might be considered mature and honorable. When you are married, there are so many more consequences to a person leaving. Spiritually, divorce is frowned upon, legally it's a hassel, psychologically it can be dibilitating, and so on.
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Sorry Ideal08, I have to respond
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No, Blackwatch, YOU feel that if you are engaged you are still single. In accordance with our values and beliefs, my fiance and I strongly disagree.
I agree with you from all of your other aspects. Yes, technically you are single because you are not yet married. And yes to some others things you said. I know that marriage is far different from dating and from being engaged. I also agree that yes you can still leave during the engagement without all of the problems. However, I STILL feel like it's about a state of mind and if a person goes into an engagement feeling like it's still a trial period then perhaps that couple should just keep dating and not even talk about marriage yet. My fiance and I DO NOT consider ourselves single and DO NOT act single. We are both going in the direction of a lifetime commitment and WILL NOT just start it the day of the wedding. So I still say again, to me and my fiance, the "last night" should be before someone proposes and someone accepts. That's what works with our beliefs, values and relationship. If others think differently and it works for them, then so be it.
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