Ordering high end on the first date. Is it rude or is it just me?

[KSig RC]

If you're going to order 'expensive' off the drinks list, make it wine (assuming you know what you're talking about, and didn't just order by price) - not close.

At the same time, getting a beer is one thing, and an Icehouse completely another (same with something like well scotch with a sidecar) - shoot for that middle ground, neither high nor lowbrow.

[KSUViolet06]

I tend to think you shouldn't take a date anywhere where you're cringing if she orders (example) steak because you know their steaks are out of your price range. Choose a place where you'd feel comfortable paying for the highest level entree because you never know what someone's going to be interested in ordering. You don't have to be high maintenace and a diva because you enjoy a good steak on a date.

And re: drinks. I hate beer and am a very picky drinker. I only ever drink vodka with cran. Ever. However, I'm okay with it being made with whatever is "house" and won't throw a fit if my vodka of choice (Ketel) isn't available.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I tend to think you shouldn't take a date anywhere where you're cringing if she orders (example) steak because you know their steaks are out of your price range. Choose a place where you'd feel comfortable paying for the highest level entree because you never know what someone's going to be interested in ordering. You don't have to be high maintenace and a diva because you enjoy a good steak on a date.

I don't know. I think there is a big difference between ordering the best steak or the best lobster, and ordering the surf n' turf that includes both. If there is an entree that is notably higher than everything else, at least that one should be avoided.

[AlphaFrog]

I think I read a Miss Manners article that says that guests should almost always order from the middle price range of the menu...ordering expensive is rude and ordering cheap could be construed as you thinking whether the paying person cannot afford more. Taking your cue from what the host orders is also appropriate...if they order steak, lobster, and Dom Perignon then ordering from the top of the menu is fair game.

[DrPhil]

If you can't afford Ruth Chris, don't go to Ruth Chris.

If you tell your date, "don't worry, help yourself" (whether you really mean it or are just saying it--I always tell people NOT to say things just to be saying it) don't get mad if your date doesn't worry and helps herself/himself.

It really depends on a few factors. The smart thing is to go with the flow and order in the range that the person who is paying for it is ordering--unless the person tells you differently.

When my significant other and I were "just dating" we went to a range of types of restaurants in terms of costs. He usually "helped himself" and was insulted if I did not "help myself." He considered it disrespectful and a challenge to his sincerity (i.e., second guessing what he means by "help yourself"), aspects of his masculinity, and even his salary range for me to buy something cheaper when what I really wanted was the more expensive item.

When the "just dating" became a significant other relationship, being cost effective was more valued and appreciated.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

If you don't want to spend that much money, don't go to a "high end" restaurant. I don't mind paying, but if I'm not trying to spend that much, we'll skip the 5-star Steakhouse and go to Pappadeaux or something.

I agree

Originally Posted by thetalady

If she orders the most expensive thing on the menu on the first date, I think you should be grateful!!

At least you know early on that she is a diva that will expect to be be wined & dined and probably end up being way high maintenance. In the end, it will be a cheap lesson!

I TOTALLY agree. Learning to read the signs early can save you a lot of heartache and money.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I agree with those who said that if you're worried a date might order the most expensive things on the menu, don't take them to a place that's high end and super expensive. Take them to a restaurant where you'll feel comfortable regardless of what is ordered.

When my hubby & I first started dating, I always ordered in the mid-range of prices and rarely ordered appetizers mainly because I don't care for them. I also stuck to soft drinks and water simply because I'm not a big drinker anyway. When our relationship became serious, we both agreed to dine at more cost effective restaurants and would splurge at high end places for special events like birthdays, anniversary of dating, job promotions, graduation etc.

One thing I discovered from a friend is that he likes to do lunch dates at nice places first with women because lunch is definitely cheapter (most of the time) than dinner and if it's not going to well, you have the option of using the "gotta get back to work" excuse. If it goes well, he invites them out to dinner at a nice place.