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That's odd -- I've never heard of fraternities having a "pref night" -- it might be something particular to your campus.
The usual idea is that you pick and choose an assortment of events from different chapters to attend.
As for recognized vs unrecognized: recognized fraternities have the support and backing of the school, which can make your life much better. On my campus, this means the ability to recruit on campus, being able to participate in all-Greek events, having access to Greek Life advisers, and being allowed to schedule events with the recognized organizations.
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