Having trouble fitting in with my brothers

[Ferendial]

Originally Posted by voLTAgeDEuce

I am wondering, after reading that any bids given should have been given before ten so that you can meet your new chapter at ten, if the colony only offered you a bid after they realized someone else was not going to show/accept their bid. Or, like the OP said, they dropped the ball.
I understand your wanting to be Greek, but I do not understand accepting a bid from a chapter of men who you feel you could never really consider your brothers. One week is very early in any relationship and I think you should give it more time and weigh your options. I hope everything works out for you!

I didn't really think about that; though there aren't really strict rules on when bids have to be handed out, it seems 10:00 is more the recommended time because I've heard of other fraternities giving them out before 10:00. The voicemail that they left on my phone told me that they were meeting somewhere at 10:30, so I don't think that was the case.

As far as accepting the bid; I only spent about an hour with this fraternity at rush, and I really never got a good chance to get a feel for them. So when it came time to accept my bid, I really didn't know what I was getting into.

Thanks a lot for your advice, though!

[Ferendial]

Originally Posted by greekdee

Ferendial -- a few other posts were added while I was writing my first response to this thread, so I've read a little more about how your circumstances came about. If bids were to be given out at 10 pm, I too would have expected a phone call before 10, not after. It sounds like the colony chapter dropped the ball on that.

It does sound like you accepted the bid with good intentions, and your reasons for preferring to depledge sooner instead of later are understandable. The fact that you are seeking guidance and still considering remaining in your fraternity --rather than just up and pulling out -- indicates to me that you do want to manage this in the best way possible.

I don't know what the policies of IFC and most fraternities are on this, but there are Greek Chat members who are very knowledgeable about it. They should be able to offer you wise counsel. I feel like you will probably be advised to remain in your fraternity and there are many at GC who can give you solid advice on how to go forward.

Whichever road you take, I wish you the very best!

Thanks so much!!

[excelblue]

Give it some more time.

A week is an extremely short amount of time, and deep relationships don't build overnight. When I joined my fraternity, it took me more than a month before I had tight bonds with everyone.

If after a few weeks, you're still not feeling it, then talk to your pledge educator / chapter president about it. That's why there's a pledging period: it's for you to learn about the fraternity while preparing you to be a brother. That way, people who aren't good fits are not initiated and stuck for life.