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Honestly, I would take the "Is that true?" to mean "You should know better, I can't believe you did that you little monster!" sort of like "What were you thinking???" or "You DIDN'T!"
But I guess it's all about the tone of voice.
I have always been a partner, but I do have to say that my son had two teachers in elementary school who were awful. I also have to say that both were brand new grads, long term subs covering for maternity leaves. One was in first grade and my son was no angel, I freely admit. I believed everything I was told about how awful he was. Then, one day, one of the parent volunteers at the school pulled me aside and told me that Miss X was singling out my son. She said that three kids could be doing something together and my son was the only one who got screamed at and sent to the principal. It was a rough year. He also never learned to write his numbers or letters correctly because she didn't teach them that. It's hard to describe, but to watch him print or write numbers, you know it's upside down. So like, when he makes a 2, he starts at the bottom right and works up. Not life changing, but an example.
The other one was actually a student teacher who they used as a long term sub because the original long term sub had left. She had no classroom supervision and needed it. She had a bunch of active 4th graders and they would be really loud and out of control. To get their attention, she would sit at her desk and say in this meek voice "class, you need to be quiet". Contrasted with his 3rd grade teacher who would clap a pattern and the whole class would immediately stop what they were doing and clap it back.
The most frustrating was when he wasn't doing any of his work and the teacher didn't tell me until parent teacher conferences, 3 months into the school year. I would have welcomed an email home. I asked her to let me know any time he missed an assignment from that time on.
Anyway, I agree with the article in most cases. I've seen crazy parents and the type the article talks about. I did sometimes wonder if anybody (principal included) ever asked a kid what had happened when something went awry. My son bit a kid at lunch once (2nd grade). He was suspended until a parent meeting could occur with the principal. I asked him "Why did you bite Billy?" He said "Billy takes my popcorn away from me every Friday and the lunch ladies won't do anything when I tell them and I told him if he did it again I was going to bite him" Billy did get in trouble too, once the story was out, and Billy never tried to steal my son's popcorn again!
His second grade teacher was great and recognized that my son could NOT handle centers. He did great when everybody was sitting at their desks getting instruction or doing work but as soon as centers started, he was everywhere. He couldn't handle the lack of structure. He still doesn't like lack of structure. Thankfully, she let him do his "centers" work in the hallway so he didn't have to cope with the chaos.
All that said, I knew my son wasn't angel. Now though? All I hear from teachers is "He's such a nice, polite young man". Phew! And my ex always says "Are you sure you're talking about our son???" Makes me want to kick him! LOL
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