Inviting a +1 to a wedding

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Amen!

I don't even know why people bring them. If and when I have kids, the last place I want to bring them to is a wedding. And if they're infants/toddlers, forget about it! The thought of having to keep them quiet during the ceremony, feed them at dinner, and watch after them while everyone drinks and dances is not my idea of a good time.

Like so many other things, I think this is contextual -- it all depends on the kind/tone of wedding/reception and, to be honest, the specific kids and the parents.

We've been invited to weddings without kids and we've been invited to weddings where not only were the kids invited, but where the bride and/or groom made it a point to say "I hope you're coming" to our kids. I've been to weddings where I was more than happy to leave the kids at home, and I've been to weddings where I was glad to have the kids along. If nothing else, it's a great opprtunity to help them learn how to act at events like that.

There were children at our wedding, and we loved them being there. They had fun helping the groomsmen decorate my car. For me, my wedding wouldn't have been as much fun without kids there. But then, we both tend to prefer multi-generational gatherings. We both come from a background that would look as weddings as a gathering of family and community, and children are part of the family and the community. (I don't say that as a criticism at all of how other people might view weddings, just as an identification of our perspective.)

Like I noted up-thread, dinner receptions have only become common around here in the last 10-15 years, and I still don't know that they can be considered the norm. Dances were unheard of, unless it was a seperate dance after the formal reception. With the more traditional sort of reception around here, kids are rarely an issue or a problem.

But I think it's pretty simple. If the bride and groom don't want them there, then don't invite them, and guests should honor that. If they do invite them, but you don't want to take your own kids, don't.