A disconnect with legacies?

[33girl]

I guess it would be hideously un-PC to make a distinction between "stepmother who's raised you since she married your dad when you were 3" and "stepmother who my dad married when I was 16 that I never see because they live in Europe."

Then again, some people's biological moms are like that latter example, too.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I guess it would be hideously un-PC to make a distinction between "stepmother who's raised you since she married your dad when you were 3" and "stepmother who my dad married when I was 16 that I never see because they live in Europe."

Then again, some people's biological moms are like that latter example, too.

Yep, I was thinking about the exact same thing. I technically have a "stepmother" who's an AXO. She's been with my father since I was 16 but I consider her "my dad's wife" and it never would have occurred to me that I might be an AXO legacy. That would have been absurd. (This is in no way a jab at AXO!) She's a wonderful woman but she is in no way, shape or form anything resembling a "mother". She's only 7 years older than me. They don't live in Europe but they might as well. I never see them.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I guess it would be hideously un-PC to make a distinction between "stepmother who's raised you since she married your dad when you were 3" and "stepmother who my dad married when I was 16 that I never see because they live in Europe."

Then again, some people's biological moms are like that latter example, too.

Yes, biological mother could be living with Step-Dad in Europe just as easily.

There's nothing "PC*" about it, it's just not possible in a policy sense.

I kind of feel like some people expect an overarching sorority policy to handle every possible nuance:

~~~ XYZ will give special consideration to every daughter, granddaughter and sister of a member, who is at least active enough in the sorority to be considered an active alumna member, and who has a thorough and loving relationship with her family member that is both supportive and educative in the policies and practices of sorority membership, recruitment and the lifelong commitment required without promising said family member membership or any expectation of guaranteed membership. Extra special consideration will be given to any of the above relatives of a member if they are named after a sorority founder or donated to the sorority foundation at birth. All donations are tax deductible. ~~~

It's just NOT POSSIBLE. Legacy policies are listed on the websites as applicable, all further discussion probably goes into MS and really don't need to be dissected twenty times til Sunday. They're general because they're inter/national and apply to every single chapter. That's just how it pretty much has to be belonging to inter/national organizations.




*PC is a bullshit phrase mostly made up and used by people who think that being polite infringes too much on their freedom to use offensive words. Being "un-PC" is not a thing, there's usually just being "an asshole." Like trying to find out if a PNM's mom is a) alive, b) really loves her or just kind of likes her or c) abandoned her and lives in Europe.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

*PC is a bullshit phrase mostly made up and used by people who think that being polite infringes too much on their freedom to use offensive words. Being "un-PC" is not a thing, there's usually just being "an asshole."

Sometimes, sometimes not.

[Xylochick216]

Alpha Chi Omega lets the PNM define the relationship, as far as steps go. Like other orgs, if the PNM considers the step-mother like a mother, she can claim the legacy.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Sometimes, sometimes not.

Most of the time, not. "Politeness" and "political correctness" have very little to do with one another. Calling someone "a person with disabilities" instead of "a cripple" doesn't mean you treat them any nicer or do things that actually help them.

Perhaps PC wasn't the most accurate phrase to use in my post, but if you can think of another, go for it.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Most of the time, not. "Politeness" and "political correctness" have very little to do with one another. Calling someone "a person with disabilities" instead of "a cripple" doesn't mean you treat them any nicer or do things that actually help them.

Perhaps PC wasn't the most accurate phrase to use in my post, but if you can think of another, go for it.

Yeah calling people crippled in no way dehumanizes them at all or is impolite. I'd leave it at "use the terms people use to describe themselves" but that really doesn't cover everything - for example, group conversations or situations where you're impolitely describing someone sitting in front of you without realizing it. You have the free speech to be offensive but it makes you an asshole.

Persons with disabilities is really little more than institutional politeness and is all encompassing. The term PC became widespread as a term of derision over the idea that we should have to force the words "Native American" or "firefighter" out of our mouths. Oh. The horror. The Daily Mail can continue to rail against PC gone mad, but it is not hard for me to use the correct words or to acknowledge that I don't get to use the same words that other people do and still be considered polite.

/the horrrrrror of PC ohhhh nooooooo

//the right term would probably have been "impossible" and/or "irrelevant"

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'd leave it at "use the terms people use to describe themselves" but that really doesn't cover everything . . . .

. . . . but it is not hard for me to use the correct words or to acknowledge that I don't get to use the same words that other people do and still be considered polite.

Ah, there's the rub though. I'm fine with call people what they call themselves, but sometimes that means there's not a "correct" word, and the problem is attempting to enforce a correctness that doesn't really exist.

For example, I don't mind saying "Indian" (or "American Indian") and I don't mind saying "Native American." I don't want to offend. But I have been castigated for not saying "Native American" even though I have been told by my "Native American" friends that they don't like to be called that, that they prefer to be called by their tribe or to be called [American] Indians. So what's a person to do, pay attention to people they know or pay attention to those who have decided which term is "correct" and will correct you if you don't follow their lead?

(And I'm not saying no one prefers to be called Native American. I'm just saying that friends have told me they don't like to be called Native American, but I'm sure others do prefer it. I'm just trying to be respectful.)

And I think PCness goes further than that. Frankly, I think "pledge" vs. "new member" and "rush" vs. "recruitment" can veer into the realm of PC.

I'm totally with you on being polite and considerate. But I'm not with you on thinking that there aren't some overzealous political correctness police out there. I've met them all too often.