A disconnect with legacies?

carnation · #1 08-09-2011, 07:55 PM

That's a running joke around here! None of the grandbabies have any "Future ABC" clothes but the 2 granddaughters do have lots of panda and owl clothes, respectively.

My husband thinks that the Greek needlework is going to pull the wall down, though.

NUBlue&Blue · #2 08-09-2011, 09:05 PM

I was chatting with my former neighbor this morning while we volunteered at open house at school (lots of chat time!) and she told me that her daughter's chapter has 78 legacies coming through THAT THEY KNOW ABOUT! I think at this school, they are expecting quota to be around 70.

I'm really glad that my girls chose to attend a school where there was no Kappa chapter (unless they attended my alma mater, of course) because the pressure was totally off. However, it was hard for my younger daughter because she was an in house legacy, so she got dropped by almost everybody after the second day. Sometimes sisters are alike and sometimes they are totally different, so often the younger sister at the same school doesn't have a whole lot of options, especially if she is nothing like her older sister.

AUBoosMom · #3 08-10-2011, 01:41 AM

My daughter is participating in Auburn's recruitment this week.

Question: because so many sororities at Auburn are in the same boat (with more legacies going through than they could possibly absorb), do these chapters drop PNMs because they assume they are want to pledge their legacy sororities? Or do they "get" the fact that many of the girls can't join those chapters because it's mathematically impossible?

It never occurred to me to tell my daughter NOT to list her legacy information on her recruitment application.

But then, we're from a different area of the country. Silly, naive out-of-staters!!

GPhiBLtColonel · #4 08-10-2011, 01:53 AM

In the recs I've written where the girls are legacies but completely open to joining a different sorority, I say so in the rec.

Benzgirl · #5 08-10-2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUBoosMom

My daughter is participating in Auburn's recruitment this week.

Question: because so many sororities at Auburn are in the same boat (with more legacies going through than they could possibly absorb), do these chapters drop PNMs because they assume they are want to pledge their legacy sororities? Or do they "get" the fact that many of the girls can't join those chapters because it's mathematically impossible?

It never occurred to me to tell my daughter NOT to list her legacy information on her recruitment application.

But then, we're from a different area of the country. Silly, naive out-of-staters!!

While we are not privvy to each of the chapter's selection processes at AU, we cannot tell you. However, I have never heard during membership selection that we should, Drop the PNM because she is a legacy of ABC and XYZ, because she will probably go there anyway. However, if you have a PNM saying, "I'm a legacy of ABC and XYZ and I only want those two chapters", I would encourage the chapter to move on to someone who wants us. We make sure the info is first-hand, though, and not a rumor.

ITA: Also, someone mentioned "legacy poaching". While we don't promote it, if the PNM loves your chapter and you love her, it's always a thrill to get her over the legacy chapter.

BraveMaroon · #6 08-10-2011, 11:16 AM

This is one of those topics that is fraught with nuances and isn't easily answered.

Here are a handful of scenarios I've encountered:

1. My roommate was a double leg at a very popular chapter at our school. She got dropped from them the night before prefs. Which did not sit well with mom, who lit up our dorm room phone (my roommate was out partying, and I kept taking messages), and probably the phones of several alum groups, etc. Lotta pissed off people, lotta drama.

I felt bad for her, especially I knew she'd been very outspoken to me and several other sororities that she was pledging her legacy. That was her bad, and she ended up dropping out.

2. I was a legacy at a house that invited me back to second round as a courtesy. They were polite and friendly and made me feel very welcome, but looking around at the party, I knew I wasn't their typical member. They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos. And I knew that. And I was fine with it. So I wasn't devastated to lose them from my party list after round two because I knew they'd given me the benefit of the doubt, and I was still left with a list of great parties with houses I loved. I never held it against them, and I doubt anyone, including my sister, lost any sleep over it.

3. My first year on the sister side of rush, we had a "megaleg" come through. Her mother had exposed her to our sorority, her sister had done the same, and we all loved her and she loved us. It was a great fit, and she's a model alum to this day. Everyone was happy.

4. The next year, we had a legacy coming to our house who I thought would have been...OK. She was definitely a little awkward, and while she had a few people championing her cause, not everyone was sold. She was very interested in us, which made it that much harder. Our advisors were pushing her HARD, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. So ultimately after a lot of discussion, we didn't invite her back. I felt bad, but at the same time - was it better to disappoint her than to have her join and be treated badly by half the chapter? As much as we'd like college women to behave like grown-ups, they're not always capable of it. But - we cut her after round two, and that freed her up to find a good fit. Which, thankfully, she did.

5. The same year, we had a legacy who came through and was extremely rude to her hostess, telling her she had no intention of setting foot in our house. And we weren't allowed to cut her, even though she had been a jackass. She didn't return for round two, which was due to her rankings, but we would have loved the satisfaction of axing her.

It reminds me of balancing chemical equations in high school - you have to carefully weigh every element and consider every factor or it could blow up on you.

Sometimes, even if you do it right, it can still blow up on you

carnation · #7 08-10-2011, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

They didn't do anything to make me feel that way, but I was a Nilla Wafer surrounded by Pepperidge Farm Milanos.

This is a great analogy! But you know, that continues to happen all through life.

BraveMaroon · #8 08-10-2011, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

This is a great analogy! But you know, that continues to happen all through life.

Well, it takes Nilla Wafers to make banana pudding, so I thrive on being built for comfort and not speed.

So to speak.

I remember my husband once described me to a friend as "sturdy". I was horrified, until I realized that sturdy gets the job done!

33girl · #9 08-10-2011, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUBoosMom

Question: because so many sororities at Auburn are in the same boat (with more legacies going through than they could possibly absorb), do these chapters drop PNMs because they assume they are want to pledge their legacy sororities? Or do they "get" the fact that many of the girls can't join those chapters because it's mathematically impossible?

I think a lot of them are thinking "OMG, we have to cut x number of girls 1) due to RFM 2) because we have a boatload of legacies we have to think about. Jackie is a legacy to another group? Great, we can cut her and not feel guilty because surely they'll take her." I think math kind of goes out the window at that point. (by "that point" I mean 1 am in the morning after a full day of parties)

p.s. your username is cute.