Quite a few people from Carolina post or read here, so with all the information you've given, your question about if and when to tell anything may be a moot point. It's already out there now.
And about looking for a "GOOD fraternity," I'll say it one more time: a good fraternity is the one where you in fit in and feel comfortable, and where the others in the chapters are brothers who accept you for you.
I'm more interested by his need to stress how different he is from "those gays."
People who identify as homosexual are a diverse subpopulation. Stop trying so hard to prove how "atypical gay" you are just because of your fashion and sociopolitical leanings. You are attracted to men, that's enough.
Power minorities feel social-psychological pressures to prove that they aren't so different from the majority; and that they aren't just like the other power minorities. Be conscious of this so that you don't set yourself up for failure and become labeled as "the insecure gay guy who really really really wants to be cool."
I'm more interested by his need to stress how different he is from "those gays."
People who identify as homosexual are a diverse subpopulation. Stop trying so hard to prove how "atypical gay" you are just because of your fashion and sociopolitical leanings. You are attracted to men, that's enough.
Power minorities feel social-psychological pressures to prove that they aren't so different from the majority; and that they aren't just like the other power minorities. Be conscious of this so that you don't set yourself up for failure and become labeled as "the insecure gay guy who really really really wants to be cool."
Or worse, the -ist against everything that's not you and the majority you want to align yourself with.
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