Why do we tell PNMs to clean up their Facebook?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by AGDee

If you read what I wrote, I said that I thought that people with good judgment kept those things hidden. I'm not saying it isn't prudent to keep your social media profile pretty clean. I'm saying that it makes it easier for us to avoid issues/problems if we don't tell them.

I apologize -- I only focused on the line that I quoted.

Like Gusteau said earlier and like you reiterated, "keep your online presence clean" is good advice. However -- I read the rest of your reply as "If you're smart enough to trick us into thinking you're an angel, you deserve a bid from us." That seems flawed.

For clarification: When you say 'risk management issue,' do you mean in general or specifically in the digital space? That may be why I'm not getting the full message you're trying to convey.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I apologize -- I only focused on the line that I quoted.

Common message board flaw.

[MaggieXi]

I think there is a difference in telling PNMs to keep their facebooks clean and secure because it's just good sense and others telling PNMs "OMG, detag every picture you've ever been in if there is a single solo cup somewhere in the background and don't friend any sorority women before recruitment because they are only friending you to stalk you!!!!" (because this is truly how it comes across from some GCers).

Sure people in general should not be putting up content that they are not willing to be judged on. But I think that some PNMs get scared and detag every picture of a family members wedding because her uncle in the background is holding a beer bottle.

As for the friending issue, you can either be the PNM who rejects every sorority women's fb friendship request and be judged for that and miss out on potentially getting to know sorority women before recruitment (which we stress is a good thing) or you can accept those requests and just keep your page clean - which is good common sense.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

As for the friending issue, you can either be the PNM who rejects every sorority women's fb friendship request and be judged for that and miss out on potentially getting to know sorority women before recruitment (which we stress is a good thing) or you can accept those requests and just keep your page clean - which is good common sense.

I thought it was against contact rules for sorority women at a school having rush in August to friend rushees now.

Also, IMO, you shouldn't friend ANYONE you don't know/haven't met personally just because their profile says they go to your college. As I said before, they can be creepy stalkers. If you go to a school with deferred rush, go out and MEET sorority women, and THEN friend them/accept their FRs.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I thought it was against contact rules for sorority women at a school having rush in August to friend rushees now.

Also, IMO, you shouldn't friend ANYONE you don't know/haven't met personally just because their profile says they go to your college. As I said before, they can be creepy stalkers. If you go to a school with deferred rush, go out and MEET sorority women, and THEN friend them/accept their FRs.

Every school has different contact rules and different campus cultures. If you have deferred recruitment you can't believe that sorority members and PNMs who happen to be in the same club, same class, or even hang out at the same fraternity house for a semester aren't going to friend each other, even if they bearly know each other.

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member. And especially for competitive campuses who need to make cuts for any reason possible. You can't say that this absolutely would not come into consideration. I'm not saying they have to go out an "friend" every single sorority woman, but they need to make socially smart decisions.

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think on most campuses interacting with a PNM via facebook would be considered "dirty rushing".

And as far as someone tagging a picture and you not getting to it first -- in the day of smartphones, that's not really an excuse. The majority of people I know have internet on their phone and can set up notifications for when a picture is tagged.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think on most campuses interacting with a PNM via facebook would be considered "dirty rushing".

And as far as someone tagging a picture and you not getting to it first -- in the day of smartphones, that's not really an excuse. The majority of people I know have internet on their phone and can set up notifications for when a picture is tagged.

How is it dirty rushing? For example: If you have deferred recruitment in the spring, and a freshman girl has an orientation leader in August who happens to also be an XYZ and they friend each other. Orientation ends, they still see each other from time to time on campus and are friendly. (This could apply to R.A.s or a lab partner, etc).

Again, it depends on the school's no contact rules. The chapter I work with, this scenario is not considered dirty rushing and is quite the norm. Most PNMs go into recruitment being fb friends with many sorority women in many different sororities. No contact does not go into effect until registration for recruitment opens. Prior to that, you can have social media connections.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Every school has different contact rules and different campus cultures. If you have deferred recruitment you can't believe that sorority members and PNMs who happen to be in the same club, same class, or even hang out at the same fraternity house for a semester aren't going to friend each other, even if they bearly know each other.

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member. And especially for competitive campuses who need to make cuts for any reason possible. You can't say that this absolutely would not come into consideration. I'm not saying they have to go out an "friend" every single sorority woman, but they need to make socially smart decisions.

If you have deferred and meet the people in person, friend away. That's the whole point of deferred rush.

I'm talking about if Katie Kappa from Bama got on her FB now, in May, and sent a friend request to Franny Freshman (whom she has never met, has no connections to and the only reason she has her name is because Franny posted on the college's FB page asking about sororities).

Not only is this dirty rushing, Franny should be cautious because IRL Katie Kappa could be a 50 year old creepy hacker dude.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

For clarification: When you say 'risk management issue,' do you mean in general or specifically in the digital space? That may be why I'm not getting the full message you're trying to convey.

In all honesty, almost every time a chapter is caught doing something against risk management policies these days, it is because someone posted it on Facebook or another social media site. The other times, it is usually because someone had to go to the hospital. 9 times out of 10, if someone hadn't posted it online, nobody would have known/gotten in trouble. That's the perspective I'm coming from.

Ironically enough, the only reason I ever came to greekchat was because a chapter was asking what to do about someone who posted things here that were inappropriate and they wanted me to read the posts. I got hooked on this darn board in the process...lol. That was the first time I was involved in an Internet posting issue, but it was just the beginning of a long line of social media issues.

It reminds me of young people who cuss like sailors no matter where they are. They don't have enough sense to know that how they talk around friends is not how they should be talking in other situations. It was usually the boys I worked with in adolescent psych who would do that back in the day and my standard feedback to them was "Locker Room Talk, not Occupational Therapy talk!" I understand that teenagers swear. I understand that a lot of teenagers party.

Having the sense to be discrete is an important life skill, not for recruitment, but for life.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by AGDee

In all honesty, almost every time a chapter is caught doing something against risk management policies these days, it is because someone posted it on Facebook or another social media site. The other times, it is usually because someone had to go to the hospital. 9 times out of 10, if someone hadn't posted it online, nobody would have known/gotten in trouble. That's the perspective I'm coming from.

OK, that makes more sense.

I was reading it as "We can determine whether or not you will haze our new members / act a drunken mess / fail out of classes / whatever based on your SM profiles." Plus, I was tired when all of this was posted lol

[33girl]

People oversharing and not knowing to STFU has been going on a long time before Facebook.

As I've said before, when you live in a state and/or go to a school with more stringent alcohol regulations than most, you just naturally learn to keep things close to the vest, but I think nowadays they don't even get that any more. I'm sure a lot of this is because punishment from parents is not what it used to be. A sorority's national office disciplining a chapter is probably the first time some people have ever heard "hey, you screwed up."

Personally, I blame The Real World and the concept of the worse you behave, the more media attention you get.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Having the sense to be discrete is an important life skill, not for recruitment, but for life.

The GC Lesson of the Day!

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Having the sense to be discrete is an important life skill, not for recruitment, but for life.

Kudos to AGDee!

This is a great and important comment, but because I am a spelling freak and former copy editor, it's discreet.
Discrete = "apart or detached from others; separate; distinct: six discrete parts."
Discreet = "1. judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect. 2. showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence."
(Thank you dictionary.com)