Quote:
Originally Posted by dnall
I get that you don't want him to get hazed, but I wasn't clear if you were saying he does or doesn't want it.
Anyway, it is not a topic of conversation in recruitment. Hazing is illegal and shouldn't happen, but it does. Most of it no big deal. Very little of it is out of control, but that does happen too.
I'm not saying it should be this way, but a guy that kept asking about hazing during rush would be seen as a bit of a wuss by my chapter. We went from hazing to not hazing when I was an active, but pledgeship was still no joke. It was a thousand percent all consuming commitment either way. The guy that's overly concerned with doing some pushups is the same guy that drops when he's busy as hell getting called every other night to DD.
I would say... I understand this is your bf & you're very concerned for him, but you have to let him do some things on his own. Just let him figure this out for himself.
If anything, tell him hazing doesn't necessarily lead to strong brotherhood. Stuff that's humiliating and stupid detracts from it. A constructive crucible-type experience, regardless if it's physical/mental or if it's a lot of very hard work with no spare time, all done side-by-side with pledge brothers does bring you closer together. You will never be able to tell that from the outside, even if you know in advance how hard an org hazes or if they don't at all.
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I meant that he doesn't want to be hazed, either, I mean I just want him to be do what he wants without disrespecting himself, and that's his opinion of what that is. I don't feel he would be overly upset with minor hazing - like having a pledge nickname thats embarrassing or wearing dorky outfits to socials - but some of the stories he was told by his Mizzou friend were concerning. I don't want him to be dehumanized, which sounds overdramatic, but his friend got pee'd on for example for messing up the creed. I just didn't know if there was a way for him to figure out which chapters do consider hazing "earning it" and which don't so badly without him coming across, like you said, a wuss. I think he is open to local chapters (different than IFC??) and NPHC if it isn't like weird that he isn't racially affiliated with what they historically stand for.
*sigh* Perhaps he will have to just go with his gut because I suppose it's anti-masculine to sound off concerns, and I suppose they would lie anyway.
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