Disaffiliating

lucgreek · #1 03-08-2011, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stressedattim

I understand that i need to make an effort to become close to the brothers. And I can say that I am at fault for that. I didn't post this before, but not being close to the brothers is not the only reason I am considering disaffiliating. I've thought i long time about this and I've realized that a fraternity is just not something I want to be a part of. I have nothing against fraternities, it's just not for me. As much as I would like to have a group of people that I can confide in, that I can have fun with-- pretty much a brotherhood, I would rather not be in a fraternity. The one thing holding me back is that we recently had someone from my pledge class disaffiliate and is now expressing interest in another frat. I don't want to add insult to injury by disaffilliating myself. But it's gotten to the point where this is affecting my schoolwork and I don't want that to be the case.

(From the beginning, it's been a chore, almost an obligation to have to go over to the house. If I truly wanted to be in the frat, I feel that I would willingly and happily be able to go over without second thoughts. And if this is not the way I feel, I don't want to string the brothers along and have them think that this is something I want, when it really isn't)

You also never explained how a fraternity isn't for you. All you've said it that it's become a chore and you'd rather not be in a fraternity. All I get from your post is you don't really want to put the work in on being an active member.

I'm a huge proponent of cutting dead weight, and it seems like you've become dead weight. If you aren't contributing anything to your chapter and don't participate in activities, it probably is best you leave greek life. Essentially you're just paying dues to keep a "friendship" with these people.

There are probably people in your chapter who will not be your friend anymore after you disaffiliate. There may be people who stay your friend. I can speak from my experience when someone disaffiliated from my chapter, he grew apart and never ended up hanging out with any of the brothers again. This is just experience from my chapter. It might be different for you.

Don't string the chapter along any more. If you really don't want to be a member, then drop.

33girl · #2 03-08-2011, 07:12 PM

You're not going to be BFFs with EVERY SINGLE PERSON in your Greek organization. That goes for guys AND girls. If that's the only reason you want to drop out, get over it - that's part of life.

But if you hate going to the house and hate putting effort into it...even with those guys that you HAVE become close to figured into the equation...then drop out sooner rather than later.