Dating Greek Men

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[Taytum2027]

Wow that is an awesome topic...I have found that it is better to date a greek man then just a normal guy, but then again I guess that all depends on who it is. This year I joined Alpha Gamma Delta at EMU and ended up hanging out with the Phi Sigs there and that is where I met my current boyfriend. He's the best guy I've ever met and I couldn't be happier. Not to say though that being Greek has anything to do with it. I feel that part of who he is though has to do with his brothers.

[piphigirl]

Originally posted by Tara Archer:
I have dated Greek and non Greek men. Most guys in college are not into commitement...( if I may make such a statement, sorry to all you nice guys out there including my boyfriend hehe ) but I have found that Greek men seem to want commitment even less. Please disagree with me, I would acually like to be wrong.

I will disagree with you. My boyfriend is an SAE and there are many men in the house that have had serious girlfriends for many years. My boyfriend and I met my freshman year and have been dating for about 2 years now. I think people think that fraternity men don't like commitment more than other men because of the stereotype which makes people want to notice it more. Personally, I know of more Greek men with serious girlfriends than I do non-Greek men.

[piphigirl]

Originally posted by SigKap:
well i am sure no one will read this because my reply is way here at the bottom...sniff sniff sadness. but dating greek men. the only differance i can see is that if you are serious with your greek stud of choice then his whole frat kinda adopts you. meaning that they see you as a little sister and you tend to be at his frat house a lot more than you normaly would. my boyfriend is a sigma nu and whenever they have parties and get togethers i am always over there. it's kinda nice though because when they have big philanthropy events i know everyone! all guys are the same though...immature and weird

I agree with you 100%! I think it is so nice to be able to go over to my boyfriend's house (even when he's not there) and have all of those guys there for you because they know thier brother loves you. My boyfriend is and SAE and they used to have "Little Sisters of Minerva" which is basically where my chapter came from. The guys and I all joke that I should be a Little Sister of Minerva because I am basically a part of their fraternity (w/o knowing all the secrets

[RoaringLionA/CY2K]

I think it works both ways...it is such an advantage to date a greek boy because they understand what it means to be in such an association and respect the obligations that come with the privlage. But at the same time dating a non greek guy allow for you to have a circle of friends to escape to that he does not know...Not to imply that greeks dont have non-greek friends, but being greek is like an "upper class society" (by that I mean very involved, busy and responsble)But a man is a man.....no matter what!!!!
Zeta Omega love
<>ashley<>

[RACH_DG]

When I first started dating my boyfriend, who just recently became my fiance', he was a non-greek, however, not long after we got together he decided to join a fraternity. Before he joined he never really gave me too much greif about my being in a sorority except that he didn't understand all the secretive stuff. He always used to say it was so stupid cause I couldn't tell him stuff about initiation and ceremony's and stuff like that. However when he finally did join theta chi he appologized for giving me such a hard time because he finally understood. I think maybe the only difference between greek men and non-greek men is the fact that non-greek men don't understand what all this greek stuff is about. And I know I have also been told that greek girls are different than non-greek girls. When my fiance' and I first got together he said he was afraid to date me because he has heard about sorority girls. He said he knew how we are about guys..such as when one guy screws a greek girl over, her whole sorority hates him for the most part. Things like that don't happen when you are non-greek. My personal opinion however is that there should be differences between greeks and non-greeks. Because we are a part of a greek organization it does set us apart from those who aren't. It's not that we are trying to disaffiliate with those who aren't greek it's just that we have something extra to bring those of us who are greek a little closer together.

~Anchored in DG~

[Trideltajen]

Well, when I joined my sorority, I had a non-Greek boyfriend. He finally admitted one day to me that it bugged him that I was in a sorority. He felt like he was in competition with my new sisters in that I started spending a lot of time with the girls. Also, he had a serious problem with the fact that sororities have exchanges with fraternities.. He was convinced that the sole purpose of exchanges were for people to hook up, rather than just meet new people. His logic was why should I go out with my sisters (to exchanges) to meet guys when I already have a boyfriend... He wanted me to quit the sorority. We broke up in January.

Now that I have been in "fratland" (that's what we call it at U of T, do other universites call it that too?) for one year, I have some observations about frat guys.
Keep in mind that this is just from my personal experience and I know that it doesn't represent ALL Fratguys.
MOST of the guys in fratland I have met are cheaters! I am not saying this as a bitter sorority girl who was cheated on by a greek, because that has never happened to me...
Here's what I've noticed:
1) Fratguys don't want commitment with sorority girls
2) They only get into relationships with non-sorority girls
3) The sorority girls they view as "toys"- just there to be played with, nothing long term (a couple of my frat friends refer to sorority girls as "sorostitutes"...Charming, eh?)
4) A lot of them think fratland "doesn't count" when it comes to fidelity. Meaning they can cheat on their non-sorority girlfriend with sorority girls and it doesn't bother them because.. hey... it's fratland.

I may seem bitter, but I assure you I am not.. One of my good friends in fratland refers to himself as the "last true romantic" and for sure there are more out there like him.
I have come to realize that if you are looking for "relationship material" it's difficult to find it in fratland or in the club scene, and my school/classes are too large to meet people in... So what is a sorority girl to do?

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Jen, VPF
Delta Delta Delta
Canada Alpha Chapter

My Website: www.geocities.com/trideltajen

Tridelta: 1 letter, 3X better

[This message has been edited by Trideltajen (edited June 18, 2001).]

[Miami1839]

Jen,

I agree with all of your observations. I'd say #2 applied to my chapter the most. I never called it "fratland". I'm not really fond of the word frat. To me its sort of condescending. But I see where your coming from. Dating a sorority girl never happened for me. I took a few girls out to formal and that was a blast. I would say generally the experience was more enjoyable. I have a few regrets that I was overlooked. LOL Especially since most guys in my chapter couldnt understand why I had problems with women in general. I still cant understand it myself. One of my closest brothers always had a line or a method when he went out on the town but I was never for that. I always figured girls saw right through that and I figured if she did buy into it I wonder. LOL Anyways, thanks on behalf of us romantic men.

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma '94
George Mason U. '97

[Miami1839]

Jen,

I agree with all of your observations. I'd say #2 applied to my chapter the most. I never called it "fratland". I'm not really fond of the word frat. To me its sort of condescending. But I see where your coming from. Dating a sorority girl never happened for me. I took a few girls out to formal and that was a blast. I would say generally the experience was more enjoyable. I have a few regrets that I was overlooked. LOL Especially since most guys in my chapter couldnt understand why I had problems with women in general. I still cant understand it myself. One of my closest brothers always had a line or a method when he went out on the town but I was never for that. I always figured girls saw right through that and I figured if she did buy into it I wonder. LOL Anyways, thanks on behalf of us romantic men.

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma '94
George Mason U. '97 http://hometown.aol.com/kev2u1972/index.html

[AngelPhiSig]

Well heres my 2 cents... I have never really had a long relationship with a greek guy. However my biological-sister was laviliered to Phi Delta Theta...

I guess from that (they are sooo not together anymore) I have this highly romanticised (yet extremely distorted) view of dating a greek...

I know that some GDI's have NO concept of what it is to be greek and to have a commitment... and to have things that you have to do and cant put off (like exec board work!) I guess Clarion is very lacking in nice greek men (note- MEN, not boys ) ) that would be my view... <sigh>

[AlphaSigLana]

My ex was a Sigma Pi. He jsut dumped me. I moved back home once this college yr was through. He broke up with me by email. Basically he prefers hanging out with his fraternity brothers. I think that men in a fraternity prefer to hang out with their brothers than have a steady relationship. I miss him a lot. I think Greek men are a lot of fun. The Sig Pi's at my school have many goodlooking men, I don't really know guys in the other fratnertiys so I can't comment on them. I want to date a greek man ready for commitment. I feel like a loser being single.

[Thetagurl]

Well everyone, this is my aspect on the situation. I have dated my share of non-greeks and greeks and I feel that there isn't a difference. A guy can be a jerk if he wants to be being in a frat doesn't make him a jerk. I have dated independent jerks as well as greek jerks...a jerk is a jerk. Anyway, I currently date a sig pi. We have been dating for over a year and a half and our relationship is wonderful and I would trade him, his greek status, or our relationship for the world. Girls-just keep looking for a special guy and don't limit yourself to greek or non-greek.. But remember "greeks do everything better" (that's a joke..lol)

[Thetagurl]

Well everyone, this is my aspect on the situation. I have dated my share of non-greeks and greeks and I feel that there isn't a difference. A guy can be a jerk if he wants to be being in a frat doesn't make him a jerk. I have dated independent jerks as well as greek jerks...a jerk is a jerk. Anyway, I currently date a sig pi. We have been dating for over a year and a half and our relationship is wonderful and I would trade him, his greek status, or our relationship for the world. Girls-just keep looking for a special guy and don't limit yourself to greek or non-greek.. But remember "greeks do everything better" (that's a joke..lol)

[SLOTheta]

I know what you mean about waiting for the Lavalier, honey!! My Sigma Chi boyfriend is 'waiting' for the right moment to give it to me!

[gammazetagrl]

Lana, never EVER feel like a loser just because you are single! Well its natural to feel that way in the early time after a breakup but things always have a brighter side. I learned that first hand. Sure, im sure your sisters n friends have already told u that things will get better,etc, and right now those things they said are hard to believe (believe me i know)but they really will.

ps:i will email u back sweetie

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"To supress our feelings only makes them stronger"--from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon