Overconfident Mothers?

[southbymidwest]

Originally Posted by ellebud

And yes, absolutely, girls are prowling the school on a mission: find Cinderella and bring her back to the castle.

Oh ellebud, this just absolutely cracks me up!

We have a lot of trophy kids in our neck of the woods. We also have Greek moms who did not go to SEC/competitive schools telling girls/their moms that as pretty and smart as they (the girls) are they shouldn't have any problems with recruitment, ehh on recs, and that maybe they should wait until they are sophomores and are more settled at school. Might still work at some schools, but realistically not at an SEC school. They are truly not trying to mislead the girls, they really believe that! Then the SEC moms have to gently try and correct that impression, which can be hard.

[greekdee]

Really, I don't know what she is thinking. We all stood there and told her how brutal recruitment is and that UGA is one of the toughest. She knows plenty of moms who, last fall, were sharing stories about how rough and stressful recruitment was for their girls at SEC schools. Her attitude is like, yes, yes, I know that -- but it will be okay because she has good connections in four of the houses."

Another reason I was so shocked is that DD is not one of these high school queen bees who has had everything handed to her. She's worked hard for things and has had her share of disappointments. This mom knows firsthand that things just don't always pan out -- but boy, there sure appears to be a big blind spot about recruitment.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by greekdee

Really, I don't know what she is thinking. We all stood there and told her how brutal recruitment is and that UGA is one of the toughest. She knows plenty of moms who, last fall, were sharing stories about how rough and stressful recruitment was for their girls at SEC schools. Her attitude is like, yes, yes, I know that -- but it will be okay because she has good connections in four of the houses."

Another reason I was so shocked is that DD is not one of these high school queen bees who has had everything handed to her. She's worked hard for things and has had her share of disappointments. This mom knows firsthand that things just don't always pan out -- but boy, there sure appears to be a big blind spot about recruitment.

How sad. Maybe one of you that knows unique snowflake well enough could offer to write her recs and then give her the names of women in other sororities who would write them for her too. Hopefully a nudge in the right direction would go a long way?

[greekdee]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

How sad. Maybe one of you that knows unique snowflake well enough could offer to write her recs and then give her the names of women in other sororities who would write them for her too. Hopefully a nudge in the right direction would go a long way?

I think this is the way to go!

Thanks for all the advice and insight everyone.

[FSUZeta]

a year or two ago, there was a uga sorority alum. whose daughter was going thru recruitment at uga. not only was she a legacy thru her mother, but her older sister, grandmother and assorted other relatives too. mom had been active as an alum.with her collegiate chapter and several chapter sisters who also were active alums. wrote recs. for the daughter. daughter did not receive a bid to legacy chapter and mom came on here to vent.

my point is, this family knew what was what at uga. daughter had undoubtedly been groomed to join her legacy chapter from birth, she had the connections, the grades and activities, the looks and personality;according to her mother, and the gpa. relying on the information provided by the mom they did everything right yet, it still did not work out as they had hoped. greekdee, your friend needs to read that thread.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

a year or two ago, there was a uga sorority alum. whose daughter was going thru recruitment at uga. not only was she a legacy thru her mother, but her older sister, grandmother and assorted other relatives too. mom had been active as an alum.with her collegiate chapter and several chapter sisters who also were active alums. wrote recs. for the daughter. daughter did not receive a bid to legacy chapter and mom came on here to vent.

This describes my roommate at UGA exactly (this was early 90s, though). She got cut right before prefs from Legacy House and ended up getting dropped from all but a few houses that were "beneath her" and she quit rush and never pledged anywhere. Mom, Granny, Cousins, Aunts - were stunned. And wounded.

At a huge state school like UGA, where the chapters have been around for a long, long time - there are usually enough chapter legacies to say, Phi Mu, Alpha Delta Pi and Chi Omega - that they could hit quota three times over each year if they just took legacies.

Oh well! Live and learn.

[axoalum]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

This describes my roommate at UGA exactly (this was early 90s, though). She got cut right before prefs from Legacy House and ended up getting dropped from all but a few houses that were "beneath her" and she quit rush and never pledged anywhere. Mom, Granny, Cousins, Aunts - were stunned. And wounded.

At a huge state school like UGA, where the chapters have been around for a long, long time - there are usually enough chapter legacies to say, Phi Mu, Alpha Delta Pi and Chi Omega - that they could hit quota three times over each year if they just took legacies.

Oh well! Live and learn.

That actually applies to almost every chapter on campus. As far as the girl a couple of years ago....she never did pledge to my knowledge. I actually met her and understood why. Very nice girl but just sort of off if that makes sense. My own roommate's daughter got cut from our own chapter that very year. Happens all the time.

[FSUZeta]

bravemaroon,did your roommate give it another try?

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

bravemaroon,did your roommate give it another try?

It's a shame - she didn't. There was a house where she wasn't a legacy that she liked a lot, but they cut her just before Prefs. It left her with two houses that she didn't like (both of which were favorites of mine, one of which had cut me - and she was nasty about it to me).

She tried to COB, but none of the 'good' houses were doing it (her words). *My* house was doing it - but she had been so insistent to my sisters that she was going Legacy, they weren't interested (plus, she'd been so rude to me, I wasn't about to put my rep on the line for her).

She started dating a guy whose fraternity brothers all had sisters at a certain house (one of the two that hadn't cut her), but she had been so disdainful of them, they finally washed their hands of her, too.

So, she never went anywhere. And it's a shame - because two great houses actively wanted to pledge her. Talk about dragging Cinderella back to the castle!

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

So, she never went anywhere. And it's a shame - because two great houses actively wanted to pledge her. Talk about dragging Cinderella back to the castle!

Major life lesson for all overconfident mothers here: your precious Cinderella will never be brought back to any castle if she is a rotten, spoiled, stuck-up brat.

[arrowlady]

I saw this thread and had to laugh. I have a friend that is the same way about her daughter (one of my daughter's best friends). Daughter wants to go greek in college. Mom was not in a sorority, Dad was in a fraternity so he is now expert on Recruitment. I was talking about the need for Recs and was told well "Susie" wants to be a Kappa and because her Aunt was she will have no problem getting in.... Tried to explain that not getting recs for every house possible is crazy that many girls do not even get houses.

I told my friend that couldn't be farther from the truth no matter what she has heard. I told her I would be happy to write a Rec for her daughter when the time came for our girls to go off to college. I was told later (after she spoke to her husband) that it would not needed.....

So I guess that will be one less Rec to write next year....

[carnation]

I would love to hear how these recruitments go!

[arrowlady]

Originally Posted by carnation

I would love to hear how these recruitments go!

I promise to post when we finally get there. They are juniors now and I am already nervous.....

[33girl]

Originally Posted by arrowlady

I told my friend that couldn't be farther from the truth no matter what she has heard. I told her I would be happy to write a Rec for her daughter when the time came for our girls to go off to college. I was told later (after she spoke to her husband) that it would not needed.....

So I guess that will be one less Rec to write next year....

Write a rec for her anyway, once you find out where she's going to school. It's not her fault that her dad is the captain on the HMS Dipshit.

[carnation]

unless the daughter is sailing on that same ship!