What to tell overconfident PNMs

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by SouthernBelle93

this has been so helpful. I was convinced i wanted to be an ABC because literally all of my friends are, but now i am going to try and go in with the most open mind possible. I would hate to be "that girl." thanks!!

It's so nice to know that some people read and learn from GC!
Great bump too with deferred recruitment coming up in January at some schools.

[KDMafia]

As I was reading this I was also thinking that there can be a different type of over confidence at smaller/deferred rush schools.

Typically what we happen to see is the belief that since rush is small and not as competitive that whole groups of friends can get into the same house and every year Rho Gammas have issues with girls having "pacts" with their friends to place certain houses first.

Of course one year, one girl stuck with the pack and the other two didn't and they ended up in different houses.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by KDMafia

As I was reading this I was also thinking that there can be a different type of over confidence at smaller/deferred rush schools.

Typically what we happen to see is the belief that since rush is small and not as competitive that whole groups of friends can get into the same house and every year Rho Gammas have issues with girls having "pacts" with their friends to place certain houses first.

Of course one year, one girl stuck with the pack and the other two didn't and they ended up in different houses.

Ah, yes... back in the day we called that a "package deal." I remember well one very popular pnm from a Southern California high school. She had a posse of friends going through recruitment with her. She let it be known that if any chapter wanted her, they had to also want all her friends.

It backfired. The entire group ended up bidless. Nobody (in any chapter) liked being bullied.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Ah, yes... back in the day we called that a "package deal." I remember well one very popular pnm from a Southern California high school. She had a posse of friends going through recruitment with her. She let it be known that if any chapter wanted her, they had to also want all her friends.

It backfired. The entire group ended up bidless. Nobody (in any chapter) liked being bullied.

I had no idea this could happen! Can you imagine having to make the space for several girls? I wonder if some popular PNM has ever pulled this off?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by carnation

I had no idea this could happen! Can you imagine having to make the space for several girls? I wonder if some popular PNM has ever pulled this off?

Yes, Carnation, there were a few popular PNMs who were successful, including in my own pledge class. Interesting note: that group of girls in my pc started out very tight, and within a few weeks they'd all found other friends in the chapter. In other words, that high school clique didn't hold.

I recall that quota was tightly set and there was no such thing as a quota addition. Without going into membership selection details, it did get dicey and tense at times (e.g. the chapter wanted to extend a bid to one or some members of a clique, but not all).

[KDMafia]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Yes, Carnation, there were a few popular PNMs who were successful, including in my own pledge class. Interesting note: that group of girls in my pc started out very tight, and within a few weeks they'd all found other friends in the chapter. In other words, that high school clique didn't hold.

I would imagine that it might be easier to do with larger pledge classes. At smaller schools though a group of 5 girls could be 2/3 to a 1/2 of the class. The making different friends thing is also true. I knew of 2 girls that went to the same house because they were best friends but it was not where one truly wanted to be. So while one was super excited and became super involved the other just never felt truly at home so their friendship grew apart anyway.

Following your heart and remembering you can still be friends are really important messages but then you think about 18 year old girls and how important their friendships are and I can see how those don't always work. I think that's why it's so important for Rho Gammas to have strong relationships with their PNMs. They need them to be willing to confide if they feel they fit in better. Until they admit that there really isn't always much a rho gamma can do.