Funding cuts leave many without home heating assistance in Macon

[Drolefille]

K_S, i'm very specific about telling people directly if I'm including them in the heads/asses category. If I'd included PIKA in that statement, I would have said so.

And see my previous comment about the difference between asking questions and making judgments. If you don't think that where PIKA ended up in this conversation was judgmental, that's your prerogative. I didn't make anyone say anything they didn't want to say, and like I said, I'm not moved by the argument that my tone was the problem here.

/or you know, I'm just bitchy because I have an ex or something.

ETA: These are personal opinions btw. Informed by my professional experiences, but personal. The things my professional opinions are oriented towards are more like emotions, thinking patterns, and mental illnesses. In my job I wouldn't call someone a judgmental asshole. Unless I thought it would really clinically benefit him to hear it.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

K_S, i'm very specific about telling people directly if I'm including them in the heads/asses category. If I'd included PIKA in that statement, I would have said so.

You included PiKA in the "needing to think" category and that's why he responded as he did. LOL.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

And see my previous comment about the difference between asking questions and making judgments.

Asking questions for what? What is there to ask? LOL.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

...I'm not moved by the argument that my tone was the problem here.

I wouldn't say you were not totally unmoved by the subject matter. You already said you were defensive based on your experiences.

This discussion is really quite funny to me because such discussions assume that people are so fragile that they can't hear some brutal truths even if the brutal truths don't apply 100% to their personal circumstances. Smart people who can let go of their ego for a minute are able to see whether their life choices have shaped their financial outcomes. That's one of the first lessons when talking to people within the Black community about poverty. If you're going to be all mad and assume that people are judging you (in general) just because they are only going based on the information in front of them (i.e. a flat screen TV when you're asking for financial assistance), you will have a very long financial road ahead of you.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You included PiKA in the "needing to think" category and that's why he responded as he did. LOL.

No, I didn't, those were the same sentence.

Asking questions for what? What is there to ask? LOL.

I don't know, ks is the one saying they're being asked.

I wouldn't say you were not totally unmoved by the subject matter. You already said you were defensive based on your experiences.

Yep, but I don't take responsibility for anyone else's responses, nor do I believe my tone is responsible for some how taking this thread down the road it went, somehow making people say assholish things.

This discussion is really quite funny to me because such discussions assume that people are so fragile that they can't hear some brutal truths even if the brutal truths don't apply 100% to their personal circumstances. Smart people who can let go of their ego for a minute are able to see whether their life choices have shaped their financial outcomes. That's one of the first lessons when talking to people within the Black community about poverty. If you're going to be all mad and assume that people are judging you (in general) just because they are only going based on the information in front of them (i.e. a flat screen TV when you're asking for financial assistance), you will have a very long financial road ahead of you.

I think there's a pretty big difference between talking to, and talking about. And if this had been a more general conversation rather than a specifically targeted one I would have felt differently about the responses.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I think there's a pretty big difference between talking to, and talking about. And if this had been a more general conversation rather than a specifically targeted one I would have felt differently about the responses.

I don't think there's any difference between talking to and talking about and that difference that you see is based on your perception (just as the perceived difference between pointing out irony and judging).

No one cares about this woman and her TV. She was used as an illustration of a larger point. She, specifically, was lost in the discussion pages ago. We've moved on to talking about people in the projects who have rims on their cars and how poor people can sell their flat screen TVs.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I don't think there's any difference between talking to and talking about and that difference that you see is based on your perception (just as the perceived difference between pointing out irony and judging).

No one cares about this woman and her TV. She was used as an illustration of a larger point. She, specifically, was lost in the discussion pages ago. We've moved on to talking about people in the projects who have rims on their cars and how poor people can sell their flat screen TVs.

Feel free to disagree, but I'd rather be talked to about something than talked about behind my back, for example. And working with a community provides a lot more knowledge than the anecdata presented so often by people who have minmal experience or contact with the population. While the discussion has indeed moved on, originally it was directed at the individual (and later a few other individuals).

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Feel free to disagree, but I'd rather be talked to about something than talked about behind my back, for example. And working with a community provides a lot more knowledge than the anecdata presented so often by people who have minmal experience or contact with the population. While the discussion has indeed moved on, originally it was directed at the individual (and later a few other individuals).

I understand what you mean. However, you're using "behind my back" as a loose example as though we are talking about gossip and personal preferences regarding respect. Not everyone with professional and personal experience with impoverished populations considers "talked to" versus "talked about" to be distinct (or an important distinction) when discussing such topics. That's just another difference in opinions.

The discussion was originally directed at the irony of a specific photo. That's only as personal and based on the individual as you perceive it to be. I don't perceive it to be as such but you do. I still get what you're saying eventhough I disagree in this context.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I understand what you mean. However, you're using "behind my back" as a loose example as though we are talking about gossip and personal preferences regarding respect. Not everyone with professional and personal experience with impoverished populations considers "talked to" versus "talked about" to be distinct (or an important distinction) when discussing such topics. That's just another difference in opinions.

The discussion was originally directed at the irony of a specific photo. That's only as personal and based on the individual as you perceive it to be. I don't perceive it to be as such but you do. I still get what you're saying eventhough I disagree in this context.

And I understand where you're coming from.

We're cool and all that.