Dear PNM's and their moms

ASUADPi · #1 08-16-2010, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

I have to agree that young people these days have very little experience with rejection or failure. It used to be that kids would get their first taste of rejection, say, when they were 7 years old and weren't picked for their local Little League team, or when they were 12 years old and weren't picked for the school choir. Now "everyone's a winner" and the first time these young people run into rejection is when they go through NPC recruitment and a chapter cuts them, or when they go through NIC recruitment and don't get a bid from their favorite fraternity, or when they go through NPHC rush and don't get selected. And they say "ZOMG, how could DEF not want ME?!" - even if DEF wasn't their favorite.

I'm glad your daughter is a happy ABC and didn't drop out because DEF cut her.

OMG so true. My first rejection, that I remember, was in 5th grade when I didn't make choir. It got worse in high school. I didn't make the top choir, I didn't make cheer one year. It was a part of life. Yeah it hurt, but isn't the saying something like "whatever hurts you makes you stronger" (something like that).

Now everything is about placating them. When I coached freshmen cheer in 08. I could take 12-15 girls (I say that number because it was "up in the air" of whether I would get a new uniform or not, if not only 12 girls, if so 15). Well I was essentially "forced" by the head coach to take 12 girls and 2 alternates and 1 manager. Only like 2 girls were cut. I was like really this is stupid. I only had like 17 girls trying out in the first place.

I just don't see the point why everyone has to "make the team" or "make the play" etc...because it is not going to prepare them for the future, as evidenced on this boards via our recruitment threads and the PNM's who "I'm so pretty, and smart and have tons of extra curriculars and OMG they dropped me".

I wanna say to them, you are now a little fish in a huge pond.

Alumiyum · #2 08-16-2010, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

OMG so true. My first rejection, that I remember, was in 5th grade when I didn't make choir. It got worse in high school. I didn't make the top choir, I didn't make cheer one year. It was a part of life. Yeah it hurt, but isn't the saying something like "whatever hurts you makes you stronger" (something like that).

Now everything is about placating them. When I coached freshmen cheer in 08. I could take 12-15 girls (I say that number because it was "up in the air" of whether I would get a new uniform or not, if not only 12 girls, if so 15). Well I was essentially "forced" by the head coach to take 12 girls and 2 alternates and 1 manager. Only like 2 girls were cut. I was like really this is stupid. I only had like 17 girls trying out in the first place.

I just don't see the point why everyone has to "make the team" or "make the play" etc...because it is not going to prepare them for the future, as evidenced on this boards via our recruitment threads and the PNM's who "I'm so pretty, and smart and have tons of extra curriculars and OMG they dropped me".

I wanna say to them, you are now a little fish in a huge pond.

There's a balance. As one of the kids that tried her hardest (at least when I was a little kid and hadn't given up yet) and almost never got picked for anything or won anything, it would've been good for me to on occasion feel included. I'm not talking about school sports teams or other teams/clubs that are and should be genuinely competitive. But in Little-League type organizations I think the practice of giving them all a little trophy is a good thing. Kids should learn early on that you can't always win, and it's not the end of the world when you don't, but a little ego boost on occasion is a good thing.

BAMA2 · #3 08-16-2010, 08:35 PM

The problem with letting everyone make everything is that kids never have the experience of saying to themselves "well I didn't make this, maybe I should go try something different that I may be good at and that I might like even better". And because they don't have that experience in trying something different and enjoying it and/or succeeding at it, they don't have the ability to see how there are other potentially great possiblities out there when they get cut from the sorority they thought they were destined for.

Alumiyum · #4 08-16-2010, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAMA2

The problem with letting everyone make everything is that kids never have the experience of saying to themselves "well I didn't make this, maybe I should go try something different that I may be good at and that I might like even better". And because they don't have that experience in trying something different and enjoying it and/or succeeding at it, they don't have the ability to see how there are other potentially great possiblities out there when they get cut from the sorority they thought they were destined for.

That's where the balance comes in.

MysticCat · #5 08-17-2010, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

That's where the balance comes in.

Co-sign. The idea that it has to be all one (complete inclusion with no losers) or all the other (total competition) is short-sighted.

33girl · #6 08-17-2010, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAMA2

The problem with letting everyone make everything is that kids never have the experience of saying to themselves "well I didn't make this, maybe I should go try something different that I may be good at and that I might like even better".

We touched on this in another thread, but the thing is there's hierarchies and "tiers" even in kids' activities, among the moms.

Say a kid loves baseball and HATES soccer...but soccer is the "in" thing run by all the "in" parents and the Little League isn't. Some parents in that case won't even let their kids try out for LL.

I have nothing against SAHMs but there are ones who perpetuate this kind of crap who really need to go GET A FREAKIN JOB.

Disclaimer: I do not have children or run in these circles. I absorb enough of it through my friends and Facebook.

NutBrnHair · #7 08-17-2010, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

We touched on this in another thread, but the thing is there's hierarchies and "tiers" even in kids' activities, among the moms.