Unsuccessful fall rush at Alabama, questions about possible spring rush. Advice?

[phimusam]

Your being dropped hardly ever means that a sorority dropped YOU - just that they were limited for each round in how many they could invite back, pref, or bid, and they filled to the limit before they got to your name. So please don't beat yourself up or lose confidence in yourself. I don't know about COB at Bama or spring rush or exactly how going through fall rush again is going to work. I do know that if you throw yourself into going to class and studies and finding some way to serve the community around you, you are more likely to find your place and that may be in or out of a Greek letter organization.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

I really truly understand your pain. Rejection sucks, especially at such a Greek-Dominated School.

But you weren't "not chosen by anyone". You did have one sorority left at preference. There were so many women who would have loved to have that opportunity.

On that flip side, that chapter was probably equally crushed. You may have been the rush crush of a girl in that chapter who was just as heartbroken as you.

I hope you get involved in school and wish you the best of luck.

[33girl]

I have to agree with the above post. There were most likely girls who were dropped by ALL the sororities long before preference night.

Let the Greek Life office know that you are interested in COB or in any sororities that might be taking girls in the spring.

[dgdramadawg]

There is, of course, nothing we can say to make this any easier on you.

But, not to pile on or anything, I did speak with a PNM from your school yesterday who was very sad because she had been released from recruitment. She would have given anything to be invited to pref at even just one of the houses. She would have loved to take your place at pref for the house you felt you weren't right for because an invite to ANY house would have been better than feeling the truly terrible feeling she felt when she was released.

Spring recruitment is not common at Bama. Get in touch with the Greek life office and they can give you information about COB, if there is going to be any COB at all this fall. If you truly want to be Greek at Bama, your best bet would be to buckle down, work on your grades, get involved on campus, and try again next fall.

[Amicus]

My daddy told me that it is better to be 30 and never married than being 40 and paying alimony.

The young woman who initiated this thread said that she felt that there wasn't a fit between her and the one chapter that invited her to its preference night activities. Therefore the young woman decided to withdraw from recruitment and take her chances on a future rush.

I keep reading on various threads on the GreekChat forums that joining a sorority is a lifetime commitment. It is also a major financial commitment.

If the young woman in question realized that she felt no connection between her self and the sorority and decided to withdraw, I for one think she did a wise thing. How many postings are there concerning an unhappy pledge disrupting the equilibrium of a house because she didn't want to be in that house in the first place?

You say that there were other young women would have taken an invitation to that house, to any house in fact. Do such young women want to be members of that sorority or do they want two or three Greek letters on a sweatshirt?

I know women who married for the sake of being married. They didn't love the men they married. Or they married an addict, an abuser or an adulterer just so they could have a wedding, a ring and to tell the world that they are a MRS. Often these women paid a price that was more than the price of the ring, the wedding cake or the marriage license.

Whether the young woman finds her place in or out of the Greek life on her campus, I wish her only the best

[33girl]

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

We were just correcting her when she said she wasn't chosen by ANYONE. Also reminding her that in a competitive system such as Alabama's, your pre-freshman rush is often your ONLY chance to be Greek. Some women are lucky and re-rush and receive bids to groups they like, but it is by no means a sure or even semi-sure thing.

If she doesn't want to be in that chapter, that's fine. But to pretty much say that a chapter wanting her didn't matter at all...that's doing to that chapter what she feels the other chapters did to her.

And I'm sure there are women who wanted to be members of THAT sorority, and also women who would take a bid from ANY sorority and make it work. I don't know if you understand the chapter sizes we're talking about but there are over 200 women in almost every chapter. To say you have absolutely nothing in common with any woman in the chapter is kind of mathematically impossible.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

You have to understand how many women go through recruitment there and how few spots are available in comparison. There are probably many other girls just like you that had one sorority left (or none at all) by pref, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or them. There are so, so many reasons you might have been dropped, so don't assume it's because you weren't "good enough" or that no one liked you.

Most of my friends from high school went to either Alabama or Auburn, and I can definitely understand feeling like you HAVE to be Greek at Bama, because it seems so important. But most of those most of those were not Greek and had an awesome time regardless. It's a huge campus and 70% of women on campus aren't Greek. You'll be able to find a group, Greek or not, that is a good fit for you. Spend this semester meeting as many people as possible and finding a group of friends that you feel at home with. (And, of course, concentrating on your academics. First, because that's the real reason you're there, and second because if you are still interested in Greek life you will need good grades from your first semester.) Then if you still are interested in Greek Life next semester, call the Greek Life office and ask them for information on COBs.

Also remember that one chapter did want you at their pref party. If that wasn't the chapter for you, that's fine, but some women get dropped by everyone, and one chapter on campus was interested in you!

Good luck!