Auburn University Recruitment - Fall 2010

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by aumom2010

Rush for Cassie is over. The two groups she liked released her. The other group which she definitely feels is wrong for her invited her, but she will not attend unless required to do so.

She is still interested in COB, but we both know that that may not work out for her.

I am probably more upset than she is at this point. I really don't care if she doesn't pledge, but my heart aches for her disappointment. She feels insulted, rejected, and embarrassed right now.

I know lots of wonderful girls are released during the process, but the fact remains that about 800 or more girls somehow measured up, and she was found lacking.

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and hope I don't regret it. And I will also say that I don't know Auburn or the reputations of any of the groups. But I do know what it is like to be in a "lesser" group.

Being insulted, rejected and embarrassed works both ways. The group that apparently wants Cassie and invited Cassie back and she is rejecting feels the same way. (I'm assuming that Cassie has been invited back to one of the "lesser" groups.)

While the PNMs often feel hurt when they are dropped, it works the same way in the chapters. Chapters have rush crushes that drop them and it is very disappointing. It is also hurtful to be in a "lesser" group that has much to offer (both now and after college) and discover that women would rather not be Greek at all than associate with you.

So while I do sympathize with you and Cassie, the rejection and hurt goes both ways. If Cassie (or any other PNM) doesn't accept an invitation to preference, the chapter is insulted, rejected and embarrassed as well.

It is said so many times on GC. She should really at least go to preference. She has nothing to lose and maybe much to gain. But at least she will have finished the process and can make a decision.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by aumom2010

I tried to post this earlier, but I don't think it worked, so it may be a repeat.


Rush for Cassie is over. The two groups she liked released her. The other group which she definitely feels is wrong for her invited her, but she will not attend unless required to do so.

She is still interested in COB, but we both know that that may not work out for her.

I am probably more upset than she is at this point. I really don't care if she doesn't pledge, but my heart aches for her disappointment. She feels insulted, rejected, and embarrassed right now.

I know lots of wonderful girls are released during the process, but the fact remains that about 800 or more girls somehow measured up, and she was found lacking.

She will get past this and I know things will probably work out in the end.

Best of luck to Suzie, Emma, and Stephanie. Thanks to all of you who have been supportive.

I highly recommend that she still attend that pref party. She has absolutely nothing to lose and possible membership to gain. They liked her enough to put her somewhere on their bid list (where she falls will determine if she makes the cut).

She WAS NOT FOUND LACKING. She is one of those 800 girls; she has a house of 150 girls (or more) who want her.

I guess I just can't see not giving them one more chance, since they gave her one more.

[BSCAXOalum]

Heard from my fav Auburn PNM--she's going to three. Her favorite all week is in her list and then two she's unsure about but keeping options open. Excited to see her at Bid Day tomorrow.

[turqwind]

Chapter total at Auburn is 180ish. Look in the Glom (yearbook) in the library and count the headshots of the sororities and you will see there is not much difference in size. All the groups have great members and would be great to become a member of. COB/COR has never been a big option at Auburn. Some girls have done COB/COR or rerushed successfully at Auburn, but don't count on it. Good luck to all PNM's at AU at your parties today and remember that those girls liked you enough to invite your to their parties. It is like going to the ice cream shop - there are lots of delicious flavors. You may have had your heart set on chocolate chip, but they ran out before they got to you. You can choose another flavor and feel like you are settling, choose another flavor and find it was your best choice, or you may decide you don't want ice cream after all.

[lawgal]

I hope Cassie gives preference a chance - sometimes it can be the girls that you pledge with that become the most important part of your Greek life. An amazing pledge class that she will be with for all the fun swaps and events can be the tipping point.So much happens in the fall at Auburn that she won't want to miss out on.One of my daughter's pledge sisters really wasn't sure about continuing or dropping before bid day and is now one of the strongest sisters in her pledge class and is so glad she stuck it out!

[WhiteDaisy128]

Originally Posted by lawgal

I hope Cassie gives preference a chance - sometimes it can be the girls that you pledge with that become the most important part of your Greek life. An amazing pledge class that she will be with for all the fun swaps and events can be the tipping point.So much happens in the fall at Auburn that she won't want to miss out on.One of my daughter's pledge sisters really wasn't sure about continuing or dropping before bid day and is now one of the strongest sisters in her pledge class and is so glad she stuck it out!

I completely agree with this! I hope Cassie at least goes to Pref...she has nothing to lose and certainly does not have to sign a bid card after the ceremony. At pref (if she goes), look not just at the women she's talked to in the GLO, but at the women sitting AROUND her. Those women will be her pledge sisters...the future of the chapter. In a chapter the size of the sororities at Auburn, there is almost always a group of women you'll settle into as great friends...and most often, it's your pledge sisters...not the actual girls who talk to you during recruitment.

[turqwind]

Really good advice from the above posters. Go to your pref party if you still can. You won't be the only PNM with one or two parties today. OR, later you can sit in your dorm room smugly thinking you were too good to go to a pref party at a lower tier sorority while your roommate/friends are playing flag football, getting big sisters, going to pledge swaps, making new friends, etc. this fall. No, you don't have to join a sorority at Auburn, but don't feel like you didn't have the opportunity. Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright.

[gardensyl]

I am so sorry for Cassie, recruitment is such an emotional time and its a real shame that it hasn't worked out for her. I can understand that her mind is made up about the remaining house on her schedule but if possible I would encourage her to attend pref. It's clear that there is a house that wants her and that may help her feel less rejected. Good luck to you both, whatever she decides to do.

[AXOrushadvisor]

AUMom2010 I just sent you a PM. Please have Cassie go to Pref. More then one girl has had their heart and mind changed while sitting or standing in a preference party. If she does not feel a connection after that she is under no obligation to sign a bid card. That would be what I would advise my own daughter in this situation. She might get into pref and there may be other PNM's that feel the same way and they are all great girls. It might be the start of a great pledge class and the turning point for the group and she'll be the one with her pledge class that has made a difference.

[mittens]

I totally feel for Cassie. I felt during rush as one group was not the right fit for me, but that is because we keep looking at what we could of had. I went to this group's preference and my feelings completely changed towards that sorority to where I could not of seen myself with them until the very last day. Please encourage Cassie to go to Pref and see what happens. If she still feels the same way, then she can drop from recruitment and try COB if they have it.

[letmeknow0210]

I had a similar situation happen to me. Last year, I got dropped by my two favorites and so I only attended one pref - the one I wanted to get rid of all week. I talked to an amazing woman at that pref. The night before bid day, I didn't get a call, so I knew I had gotten a bid from that chapter, but I took a chance and went Greek. I'm SO glad that I decided to try it out and give them a chance. I've become super involved with my chapter and will probably run for a VP position this year! (I was a 2nd year when I went through recruitment the first time.) I love all of my sisters so dearly and know I've made friends for life.

Please encourage her to go to Pref. And if she does and gets a bid, but is still not feeling it, I would say give it a shot. She has until initiation. Sometimes it just takes some time to grow on you and for me it most certainly did!

I'm so glad to be part of my GLO.

[ellebud]

On instincts and Pref: By the end of rush no one has any "instincts" left. All the girls are exhausted mentally and physically. How many times have we heard that I went into A and cried, and B and cried, and C, my least favorite suddenly became number 1? This is, simply put, survival mode. Was it the "best" choice? Maybe, maybe not.

When I went through, during the dark ages, I wasn't "sure". All I knew was that I wasn't invited to any other houses other than the Jewish house because I am Jewish. I gave it a shot. Best thing I ever did. Friendships and alliances evolve.

The Reluctant One who went through sick and with attitude didn't have a clue about what she wanted until the end.

It is called in my book a leap of faith. There are so many times in life when you aren't "sure" about life changing events and you go for it. Things work out, sometimes far better than we ever believe. And here the it is the Pref party. Go for it. Or don't and wonder for the rest of your college days...what if?

[Lightning Bug!]

Not sure there's any point in echoing the message, but she needs to be really certain that this group isn't for her, which is another good reason to go to pref. Also, as people have pointed out here and before, the membership of the sorority is about to change by 1/4 with the absorption of the new member class. She needs another chance to see what her NM class might look like, and she can't do that without going to pref. So she has feelings that the house isn't right for her. Those are important, but ask her what she thinks about her potential new member class. It is likely that she won't be able to answer because she's been so busy thinking about the actives - but all that will change with the new member class. So suggest she go to pref to give potential new members a chance - she may find that, looking around at the other PNMs at pref, that they seem more compatible with her than the actives do. And that's okay - every NM class has its own vibe, and it can really change a house. Of course, if she does go to pref, she needs to be as polite and positive as she can be. There always are disappointed girls at pref, and the sisters can feel it.

You all are in our prayers, not only for rush and the start of a new school year, but also because of the cancer diagnosis. This may be the time to put together the world's cutest care package.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

This may be the time to put together the world's cutest care package.

What she said! Maybe something orange and blue with big dots and her initials?

[Lightning Bug!]

Ditto - this is the time to stress what a great privilege it is to be a sweet Auburn girl! Cute gifts and parties and fun times and friendship - these things are not just for sororities, and she needs to be reminded of that.