Quote:
Originally Posted by dgdramadawg
Okay, story, then a question:
I recently spoke with a girl from my church who will be going through recruitment at an SEC school in the fall. Her mom was Greek at this school, but she decided to ask me for some recruitment advice. Even though I did not attend the school the PNM will be rushing at, I gave her the usual standard SEC recruitment advice and told her that she might want to ask her mom for more information specific to this school.
Then I offered to write her a recommendation for Delta Gamma, and she responded: "My mom won't let me get recommendations for other chapters because she says the only one she will pay for me to be in is [her own chapter]."
This is an SEC school with what is considered a VERY competitive recruitment. The PNM's mother is a member of a very sought-after chapter on that campus, and being a legacy does not in any way guarantee this PNM a bid in any situation, but especially when she is an out-of-state PNM who knows no one in the chapter.
1. WHY would this mom sabotage her daughter's recruitment by refusing to allow her daughter to seek recommendations for or even consider membership in any other chapter?
2. The larger issue: I would expect that most mothers would love for their daughters to join them as sisters... but how should moms treat their legacy daughters with respect to recruitment? Is there a way for a mother to encourage her daughter to consider her own house more heavily without destroying her chances at every other house on campus?
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My daughter will be heading for college in 3 years. She has grown up at the AXO house running around there since she has been a toddler. She just asked me the other day if she HAD to join AXO. I told her she could join any where she wanted to and that she didn't have to be an AXO if she didn't want to. As much as I would LOVE her to be an AXO I think she has the right to choose to join another Chapter if she wants. Heck, she may not even want to go through recruitment. Just because I love it doesn't mean she will. The only way I would encourage my dd to pledge AXO on a specific campus is if I knew a lot about that specific Chapter. Even if she were to go to the college I went to there are no guarantees that the Chapter would be the same or a good fit for her.
My guess is that Mom doesn't understand how much recruitment has changed since she was at school. I'm glad you guys are going to write her recs, but if she is feeling this type of pressure before recruitment my guess is she will be reluctant to join another Chapter for fear of facing the wrath of Mommy Dearest.
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