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05-26-2010, 10:59 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 857
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You know, one of my best friends is going through this. She'll turn 30 in just over a year and would like to be married when she's "30-ish". That being said, she has her expectations set a bit high. I love her and she was the maid of honor at my wedding, but she says she hasn't had a boyfriend in 6 years (we're including anyone she's been out with more than once- in 6 YEARS!) because she can't find what she's looking for.
She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....
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"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
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05-26-2010, 11:04 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,733
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherKD
She's overweight and average-looking
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Hahah...sorry....
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05-26-2010, 12:00 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: In a house.
Posts: 9,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherKD
She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....
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Hand her a mirror...
And then you reminded me of this...
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Law and Order: Gotham - “In the Criminal Justice System of Gotham City the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime, the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and the Batman. These are their stories.”
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05-26-2010, 12:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 725
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaemonSeid
Hand her a mirror...
And then you reminded me of this... |
You beat me to it.
She has high expectations for somebody who isn't so high on the expectation ladder herself.
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05-26-2010, 01:04 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Counting my blessings!
Posts: 31,766
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I know so many women who turned 29 and absolutely freaked out because they weren't married. Almost every one of them who married the next warm body who came along is now divorced.
I blame the whole biological clock bit. I was only 21 the first time I heard, "Better get going - there's only so many years you have for children!" I don't think I even knew anyone at 21 with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life!
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♥Proud to be a Macon Magnolia ♥
"He who is not busy being born is busy dying." Bob Dylan
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05-26-2010, 03:38 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 3,416
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherKD
She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....
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I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.
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Love. Labor. Learning. Loyalty.
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05-26-2010, 03:43 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,949
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyj87
I have to tell myself that everyday since I'm never graduating college. But this brings up an interesting discussion.
Out of all my friends in high school versus college, it seems my greek life friends are getting married a lot sooner than my nongreek life friends.
True/false?
But other factors are there too. I'm now in the "south" so apparently you guys get married younger down here? Which I have noticed a lot more people in my classes getting married than ones up north who I went to HS with.
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I had no idea people of average college age (18-22) got married in college, then I moved to Idaho and it is normal here. A majority of these kids are Mormons or super conservative Christians, so you have a short engagement and get married to have babies ASAP, and the wedding usually happens after the man gets back from his mission. They finish college and if he goes to graduate school she supports him and if they don't already have kids she stops any outside of the home work when the baby comes. It still freaks me out, who would want to be married in college? A lot of the amazing stuff I did couldn't have happened with a spouse or kids.
Sure there are older non-trads who are in school and married, but marriage before you can buy alcohol, rent a car, or buy a handgun seems so lame and foreign to me.
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05-26-2010, 05:31 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Home.
Posts: 8,261
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel
I had no idea people of average college age (18-22) got married in college, then I moved to Idaho and it is normal here. A majority of these kids are Mormons or super conservative Christians, so you have a short engagement and get married to have babies ASAP, and the wedding usually happens after the man gets back from his mission. They finish college and if he goes to graduate school she supports him and if they don't already have kids she stops any outside of the home work when the baby comes. It still freaks me out, who would want to be married in college? A lot of the amazing stuff I did couldn't have happened with a spouse or kids.
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One of my HS classmates went to BYU and got married at like, 20. Even in my traditional Southern town, people were shocked because usually the girls waited for a year after graduation. But, I guess it was the expected thing to do at BYU. She ended up getting divorced two years later--I guess it had to have been pretty bad to get divorced so soon.
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05-26-2010, 04:37 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: In a house.
Posts: 9,564
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB
I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.
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1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL
__________________
Law and Order: Gotham - “In the Criminal Justice System of Gotham City the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime, the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and the Batman. These are their stories.”
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05-26-2010, 04:39 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaemonSeid
1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL
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True.
And she did look a little...off...at times during that movie. I wouldn't go as far as "ugly," but she certainly wasn't "GAATDAAAMN" fine in that movie.
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05-26-2010, 05:17 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,593
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaemonSeid
1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL
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