Are Black Women Scaring Off Black Men

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

i really wish more black men would step up to the plate and learn how to be just that (MEN).

1) most black women don't know how to love. they know how to SCREW, but not love someone (for eternity).
....

I agree 100% with what I bolded.

I disagree with the other. It's the folks who don't love or respect themselves, those are the folks who "know how to screw" but don't "know how" to love anyone else, and this goes for MEN too, not just women. Race doesn't matter.

It is an impossibility to love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I agree 100% with what I bolded.

I disagree with the other. It's the folks who don't love or respect themselves, those are the folks who "know how to screw" but don't "know how" to love anyone else, and this goes for MEN too, not just women. Race doesn't matter.

It is an impossibility to love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

Hey there home boy. How are you?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Hey there home boy. How are you?

Hey LG. I'm doing well. How is everything with you? As always, it's good to hear from you.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I agree 100% with what I bolded.

I disagree with the other. It's the folks who don't love or respect themselves, those are the folks who "know how to screw" but don't "know how" to love anyone else, and this goes for MEN too, not just women. Race doesn't matter.

It is an impossibility to love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

well, i could've gone on & on & on & on & on with my post, but i just wanted to hit on what i thought were the "key" parts. i didn't mean to make it sound like "ALL men know how to love and most women dont", so i apologize for not making myself clear.

HOWEVER, i will ask all you guys this; the image that's been pinned on my beautiful sistas by not only society, but other black men and women (sistas' are LOUD, sistas' are COMPLICATED, sistas' are THIS, sistas' are THAT).......where on earth did it come from? the title of this thread is called "Are Black Women Scaring Off Black Men", so i wanted to keep it on topic. should you guys want to create a thread called "Are Black Men Scaring Off Black Women", i would probably respond to that thread just as much as i am to this thread.

the responses i get from this question is going to be interesting; and please don't tell me that the image just fell out the sky from the backroads of a hick town......lol.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

well, i could've gone on & on & on & on & on with my post, but i just wanted to hit on what i thought were the "key" parts. i didn't mean to make it sound like "ALL men know how to love and most women dont", so i apologize for not making myself clear.

HOWEVER, i will ask all you guys this; the image that's been pinned on my beautiful sistas by not only society, but other black men and women (sistas' are LOUD, sistas' are COMPLICATED, sistas' are THIS, sistas' are THAT).......where on earth did it come from? the title of this thread is called "Are Black Women Scaring Off Black Men", so i wanted to keep it on topic. should you guys want to create a thread called "Are Black Men Scaring Off Black Women", i would probably respond to that thread just as much as i am to this thread.

the responses i get from this question is going to be interesting; and please don't tell me that the image just fell out the sky from the backroads of a hick town......lol.

I just can't agree with what's been posted (with the exception of the comments about the men) I'll just say this one last thing, and then I'm going to leave this thread be, at least on this topic. I don't really like pointing the finger at her because to me, in today's society, it's the black men and men period who are not taking their leadership roles in the family and are instead becoming passive and indecisive. His s/o is supposed to be valued and revered as an equal partner, but a lot of men lack the ability to appropriately love and value her, and only her. I don't really like getting into the race part when it comes to relationships, because what it comes down to is serving the other person. And this goes back to serving a woman who respects herself, because one who doesn't is going to clown rather you serve her or not. To say "black women" don't treat their men right, is wrong on every level. If a man is not happy with how she is treating him (black or white), then I think it's a good idea for HIM to check what kind of treatment he is giving her and that's because she responds to the treatment that she is being given.

I'm not going to get into any further discussions about it though. We're both entitled to our own opinions on the issue.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I just can't agree with what's been posted (with the exception of the comments about the men) I'll just say this one last thing, and then I'm going to leave this thread be, at least on this topic. I don't really like pointing the finger at her because to me, in today's society, it's the black men and men period who are not taking their leadership roles in the family and are instead becoming passive and indecisive. His s/o is supposed to be valued and revered as an equal partner, but a lot of men lack the ability to appropriately love and value her, and only her. I don't really like getting into the race part when it comes to relationships, because what it comes down to is serving the other person. And this goes back to serving a woman who respects herself, because one who doesn't is going to clown rather you serve her or not. To say "black women" don't treat their men right, is wrong on every level. If a man is not happy with how she is treating him (black or white), then I think it's a good idea for HIM to check what kind of treatment he is giving her and that's because she responds to the treatment that she is being given.

I'm not going to get into any further discussions about it though. We're both entitled to our own opinions on the issue.

I agree totally.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

well, i could've gone on & on & on & on & on with my post, but i just wanted to hit on what i thought were the "key" parts. i didn't mean to make it sound like "ALL men know how to love and most women dont", so i apologize for not making myself clear.

HOWEVER, i will ask all you guys this; the image that's been pinned on my beautiful sistas by not only society, but other black men and women (sistas' are LOUD, sistas' are COMPLICATED, sistas' are THIS, sistas' are THAT).......where on earth did it come from? the title of this thread is called "Are Black Women Scaring Off Black Men", so i wanted to keep it on topic. should you guys want to create a thread called "Are Black Men Scaring Off Black Women", i would probably respond to that thread just as much as i am to this thread.

the responses i get from this question is going to be interesting; and please don't tell me that the image just fell out the sky from the backroads of a hick town......lol.

All stereotypes come from somewhere (including those about Black men) but that doesn't mean that they are true in a great or majority capacity. This is what many don't seem to get. If you are being truthful, then it's really a shame that you've had such experiences but you have not met most Black women, so MOST would not be the right word to use. SOME according to your personal experiences would be more accurate. Perhaps it's the circles that you have been part of or perhaps it's you. Sometimes we all need to take inventory and look at ourselves; sometimes we are the problem or part of the problem. I'm not trying to be negative or funny either. Among the many books that have impacted my life immensely over the years, probably one of my top five is one by Osho (I've read many of his books), called "Journey to the Heart." This book will encourage you to be more calm, peaceful, and patient with people and yourself. I am a Humanist so I work at understanding people better since we are often too hard on ourselves and others (which is why sometimes I break down and help the trolls on GC...DrPhil sometimes scolds me for doing this...LOL!). Anyway, the book includes real life examples and stories of how one can change an outcome or circumstance merely by thinking before they react and changing their response or reaction to things. Individuals have the power to choose a social outcome in many cases. Although, I am still a work in progress and will always be, in some cases I try to stop and think first before reacting or responding to a situation or person. Sometimes more understanding and empathy is required but I have been able to change many outcomes by responding positively instead of negatively and offering solutions instead of being a part of the problem. Good luck to you in finding that Black woman that will change your mind if that's what you seek but I am blessed to have so many beautiful, intelligent, loving, and supportive Black women in my life.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

All stereotypes come from somewhere (including those about Black men) but that doesn't mean that they are true in a great or majority capacity. This is what many don't seem to get. If you are being truthful, then it's really a shame that you've had such experiences but you have not met most Black women, so MOST would not be the right word to use. SOME according to your personal experiences would be more accurate. Perhaps it's the circles that you have been part of or perhaps it's you. Sometimes we all need to take inventory and look at ourselves; sometimes we are the problem or part of the problem. I'm not trying to be negative or funny either. Among the many books that have impacted my life immensely over the years, probably one of my top five is one by Osho (I've read many of his books), called "Journey to the Heart." This book will encourage you to be more calm, peaceful, and patient with people and yourself. I am a Humanist so I work at understanding people better since we are often too hard on ourselves and others (which is why sometimes I break down and help the trolls on GC...DrPhil sometimes scolds me for doing this...LOL!). Anyway, the book includes real life examples and stories of how one can change an outcome or circumstance merely by thinking before they react and changing their response or reaction to things. Individuals have the power to choose a social outcome in many cases. Although, I am still a work in progress and will always be, in some cases I try to stop and think first before reacting or responding to a situation or person. Sometimes more understanding and empathy is required but I have been able to change many outcomes by responding positively instead of negatively and offering solutions instead of being a part of the problem. Good luck to you in finding that Black woman that will change your mind if that's what you seek but I am blessed to have so many beautiful, intelligent, loving, and supportive Black women in my life.

like yourself, i also have alot of wonderful, supportive, and intelligent black women in my life (including my wife, mom-in-law, mom, grandmom, etc.). you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that.

it's just frustrating when i see alot of black women act the way they act (in public at that!). when i made my original comments in this thread, some of the negative comments i recieved were exactly what i expected.....shallow & misunderstood (i'm not referring to your comments in any way, of course). i just get tired of seeing sooooooo many sistas that have a gift to potentially do anything they want in their lives, but can't because of their ways.

here's a perfect example.....i have a coworker i work with here in the baltimore city public school system (BCPSS), and the woman is so outstanding at what she does, she could damn well run her own school if she could, but because of her trashy attitude, she'll never get there. again, it's an ongoing saga that i often see in many sistas.

i'll just say this....i believe black women are the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth, but they're also the least taken. now, if that doesn't draw a red flag, nothing will.

i asked one of my friends "why do you choose not to date black women?" just to see what response i would get. he said "i'll give you three words........PEACE OF MIND".

[DrPhil]

Welp, congratulations to those Black men who don't want Black women. Somewhere there's a pony with rainbows shooting out of its ass that cares.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Welp, congratulations to those Black men who don't want Black women. Somewhere there's a pony with rainbows shooting out of its ass that cares.

well, i can't speak for anyone else, but i'll say that i believe alot of black women don't know what they want. i'm not speaking of the good ones (of course), but certain levels of ignorant & shallow behavior should not be tolerated in no relationship. it puts the marriage/relationship on any uneven playing field.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

well, i can't speak for anyone else

And I can't pretend to care about this topic.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

like yourself, i also have alot of wonderful, supportive, and intelligent black women in my life (including my wife, mom-in-law, mom, grandmom, etc.). you're absolutely right about me using the word "most" in the incorrect manner that i was using it, so i apologize for that.

it's just frustrating when i see alot of black women act the way they act (in public at that!). when i made my original comments in this thread, some of the negative comments i recieved were exactly what i expected.....shallow & misunderstood (i'm not referring to your comments in any way, of course). i just get tired of seeing sooooooo many sistas that have a gift to potentially do anything they want in their lives, but can't because of their ways.

here's a perfect example.....i have a coworker i work with here in the baltimore city public school system (BCPSS), and the woman is so outstanding at what she does, she could damn well run her own school if she could, but because of her trashy attitude, she'll never get there. again, it's an ongoing saga that i often see in many sistas.

i'll just say this....i believe black women are the most beautiful creatures on the face of the earth, but they're also the least taken. now, if that doesn't draw a red flag, nothing will.

i asked one of my friends "why do you choose not to date black women?" just to see what response i would get. he said "i'll give you three words........PEACE OF MIND".

This might actually be the biggest myth/stereotype being perpetuated right now. I have NEVER had a problem dating Black men, I'm married to a Black man, and so are most of my sorors and friends.

So in my world, this is totally a myth. The Black women in my life are educated, loving, independent, have great jobs/careers, own their own businesses, property, and dare I say it....most are also married! They are all doing the damn thing so sorry, I just can't relate.

If you are a queen, then you want and deserve a king. Period.

[MasonsInquiries]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

This might actually be the biggest myth/stereotype being perpetuated right now. I have NEVER had a problem dating Black men, I'm married to a Black man, and so are most of my sorors and friends.

So in my world, this is totally a myth. The Black women in my life are educated, loving, independent, have great jobs/careers, own their own businesses, property, and dare I say it....most are also married! They are all doing the damn thing so sorry, I just can't relate.

If you are a queen, then you want and deserve a king. Period.

...and ya' know what? i can actually respect your opinions and the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

DaemonSeid, i'm not bitter at all; just a person that has one question: "why"? the thing i don't understand is that this thread has a SPECIFIC title. i made my comments (some didn't come out the way i meant it to) and ultimately, i ended up apologizing for my "false" comments. rhoyaltempest, did i or did i NOT apologize for the statements that came out wrong?

DaemonSeid, i never drag my marriage into my personal thoughts because frankly, one has nothing to do with the other. in case you're wondering, my marriage is doing fine. believe it or not, she actually agrees with me on this issue whole-heartedly. but thanks for showing such genuine care.......LOL!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

Many of us have.

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

just a person that has one question: "why?"

Exactly.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by MasonsInquiries

...and ya' know what? i can actually respect your opinions and the fact that you've been surrounded by so many of our people in a positive aspect.

DaemonSeid, i'm not bitter at all; just a person that has one question: "why?" i never drag my marriage into my personal thoughts because frankly, one has nothing to do with the other.

in case you're wondering, my marriage is doing fine. believe it or not, she actually agrees with me on this issue. but thanks for showing such genuine care.......LOL!

Actually i don't care about your marriage but this is what I see...

From everything you posted on this thread...this is how you sound:

"I love my Black women and they are beautiful, but damn, they are mean and hateful bitches!"

And I can't back a brotha up that thinks that way because when you say some bullisht like that then I am going to start wondering what is wrong with you.

MI....you sound as hateful and as bitter as the women sitting around complaining about all men are dogs or whatever it is that they complain about.

And you keep talking about you came to this lil epiphany of yours because of the experience you have had ?

Every time you keep saying "a lot" or "many" or "most" you keep clowning yourself and making yourself look like a blooming idiot basing something empirically on something that happens in your little tiny corner of the world.

It's been said once and it bears repeating..you haven't dealt with 'a lot' or even enough women on this planet to be qualified enough to do this and the opinions that contradict yours on this board prove that.

Furthermore have you EVER considered ONCE that your experiences are also based on the company you keep? That probably the reason you keep running into these types of women that shape your experience is based on the circles you run in (or who knows, maybe you watch too much TV )?

Maybe you need to up your game and the people you allow in and you won't come off sounding like a bitter old crab of a man that you are coming off as right now because trust me, not only have you been offensive to the women on this board you have been offensive to myself also and sorry to say, I dont hold sistas in such a low regard as you do.