Pregnant Active Sister Problem

[Zillini]

These two members found themselves in arguably the most difficult circumstance a young woman can face. They made the difficult decision to do what was best for the children and not have an abortion. Unless your Inatl or local Bylaws has some policy against active members having kids, then they cannot and should not be punished for doing what they felt was right.

To me it sounds like they are supporting each other because I can only imagine how hard this must be for them. Isn't that what sisters are supposed to do for each other? While I understand from a PR point you wouldn't want the two advertising their situations on campus, you said their conversations were "not completely out in the open". You can't tell them not to talk about it at all, just ask them to be mindful of their environment (location and who's around) when they do. The old adage "There is a time and a place for everything" is appropriate.

IMO the more pressing problem is with the ones who keep rehashing it and telling them they shouldn't be members. Those are the ones who should be called to Standards. Telling a sister she's not entitled to membership is presumptuous and the height of disrespect, not to mention downright mean.

Personal side note: I hope those who are critical are virgins, otherwise they might find themselves in the same boat having to make heart wrenching decisions. I doubt they'd appreciate having the added stigma/pressure of their sisters telling them they don't deserve to be sisters anymore.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Zillini

These two members found themselves in arguably the most difficult circumstance a young woman can face. They made the difficult decision to do what was best for the children and not have an abortion. Unless your Inatl or local Bylaws has some policy against active members having kids, then they cannot and should not be punished for doing what they felt was right.

To me it sounds like they are supporting each other because I can only imagine how hard this must be for them. Isn't that what sisters are supposed to do for each other? While I understand from a PR point you wouldn't want the two advertising their situations on campus, you said their conversations were "not completely out in the open". You can't tell them not to talk about it at all, just ask them to be mindful of their environment (location and who's around) when they do. The old adage "There is a time and a place for everything" is appropriate.

IMO the more pressing problem is with the ones who keep rehashing it and telling them they shouldn't be members. Those are the ones who should be called to Standards. Telling a sister she's not entitled to membership is presumptuous and the height of disrespect, not to mention downright mean.

Personal side note: I hope those who are critical are virgins, otherwise they might find themselves in the same boat having to make heart wrenching decisions. I doubt they'd appreciate having the added stigma/pressure of their sisters telling them they don't deserve to be sisters anymore.

I hate it when girls choose to talk down to others who become pregnant but especially when they are having sex themselves. I never forgot that I could be that girl that had to choose between aborting a child, keeping it, or giving it up no matter how careful I was. It might do some real good to remind these girls, quietly, that it could be them and even if they have decided to wait, it isn't right to judge others.

[33girl]

OK, I didn't see a pregnant sister anywhere in your story so I don't know why you titled your thread that, but anyway...

The kids are a fait accompli, and it sounds like when your nationals picked the colonizing members, they were fully aware of the first girl's child. If they are giving the OK, I don't think there is jack squat anyone else can say.

Should they bring it up at rush or talk to guys at mixers about their kids for 2 hours? No. But that could be said of ANY family matter.

As far as the girls who are complaining, it almost sounds like they're more upset about the NM keeping info from them (which might have affected their vote) than about the actual fact of the child itself. When you feel hoodwinked you get pissed and make it into something else, which is where the other sister comes in. They have to pretend it's a moral issue, not an "I feel tricked" issue.