I'm not trying to start a brawl here... but it seems somewhat misleading to list the dates of Phi Mu an ADPi as being the 1850's. They were founded as the Philomathean and Adelphean literary societies in the 1850's, but did not become Phi Mu and ADPi until the 1900's. So while the groups had origins in the 1850's, it's arguable that they were not in fact founded until the 1900's.
Most of the time I've seen those orgs list their founding dates with that caveat. For example, the Phi Mu website says "Phi Mu was founded in 1852 at Wesleyan College in Macon, Georgia. It began as the Philomathean Society, a literary society, and is the second oldest secret society for women. The Philomathean Society became Phi Mu Fraternity in 1904." The ADPi website lists their founding date as 1851 in most places, but on their timeline says, "1851: Alpha Delta Pi was founded by Eugenia Tucker on May 15th as The Adelphean Society, making it the first secret society for women....1905: The Adelphean Society changed its name to Alpha Delta Phi and became a national organization."
The same could be said of Pi Beta Phi, which was "I.C. Sorosis" until 1888, when they took the name Pi Beta Phi.
Maybe I'm splitting hairs here. I know every group wants to claim to be the first!
I guess it just depends on whether or not the name of the group matters - it seems that these groups had a fairly continuous purpose from their founding to the name change and onward. Nonetheless, in my mind, Kappa Alpha Theta is the first.
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