long distance relationships

[Kansas City]

I would say that just about my entire relationship with my now husband has been long distance. I think that it makes both of us stronger individuals that create a very loving couple.

We started dating 15 years ago while living in the same college town. We didn’t expect the relationship to last over the summer while being 2 hours apart but when classes started up again, we were able to pick up where we left off. He graduated the next year and moved 8 hours away for grad school. We would talk on the phone for about 20 minutes per day (pre-cell phones and unlimited minutes) and have weekend meetings at a hotel half-way in between about every 6-weeks. The final semester of my senior year, I only had classes on Tue/Thu so I would make the drive about every 3-weeks to spend long weekends with him. Eventually, I graduated and he had another year of grad school. We were now just 6 hours away and continued to speak daily and meet up whenever we could. Eventually, he graduated and was successful in finding a job near where I lived. We got engaged shortly thereafter (5 years into the relationship) and moved-in together when we got married a year later. Now, after nine years of marriage, I feel as though I am still living in a long distance relationship because his job takes him all over the country for months at a time. Somehow, we are still able to make it work.

I am of the belief that long distance can work if the two individuals are strong enough to handle it. A couple has to be willing to give each other the trust and independence to make it successful.

[Munchkin03]

I did an LDR my senior year of college and in my first year of graduate school. I would not do it again, even though the relationship survived for a few years after we were in the same city.

It worked well for me at the time. It really allowed me to really focus on my work during those two crucial years. Also, the culture at my college regarding relationships was more along the "pretend marriage" route (that ironically DO NOT end in marriage), and I knew that wasn't for me. In fact, I was hanging out with one of my best girlfriends from college, who was in one of those relationships from sophmore year onwards, and she clearly expressed regrets about letting her relationship--which she knew was going nowhere--take over her social and academic life because "everyone else was doing it." I know that's not healthy, and not everyone does it, but that was my college for you.

I wouldn't do it again because I know a lot more about myself than I did 7 years ago, and how I'm not really a phone person. Finally, I'm at the point in my life where I want to settle down and being in an LDR is not conducive to settling down without major sacrifices on one or another person's part.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Also, the culture at my college regarding relationships was more along the "pretend marriage" route (that ironically DO NOT end in marriage), and I knew that wasn't for me.

LOL at "pretend marriage."

One of my friends has been living with her bf since sophomore year of college and SHE refers to her own relationship as "a pretend marriage" or a "trial marriage." She's not even joking either. She is also 27 years old and swears they're "getting married" this year (every year).

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Kansas City

I would say that just about my entire relationship with my now husband has been long distance. I think that it makes both of us stronger individuals that create a very loving couple.

We started dating 15 years ago while living in the same college town. We didn’t expect the relationship to last over the summer while being 2 hours apart but when classes started up again, we were able to pick up where we left off. He graduated the next year and moved 8 hours away for grad school. We would talk on the phone for about 20 minutes per day (pre-cell phones and unlimited minutes) and have weekend meetings at a hotel half-way in between about every 6-weeks. The final semester of my senior year, I only had classes on Tue/Thu so I would make the drive about every 3-weeks to spend long weekends with him. Eventually, I graduated and he had another year of grad school. We were now just 6 hours away and continued to speak daily and meet up whenever we could. Eventually, he graduated and was successful in finding a job near where I lived. We got engaged shortly thereafter (5 years into the relationship) and moved-in together when we got married a year later. Now, after nine years of marriage, I feel as though I am still living in a long distance relationship because his job takes him all over the country for months at a time. Somehow, we are still able to make it work.

I am of the belief that long distance can work if the two individuals are strong enough to handle it. A couple has to be willing to give each other the trust and independence to make it successful.

Wow. That was such a great story, all I could do was just sigh at the end.