advice for PNM please!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

So a couple of you guys came on a little strong
I'm nervous enough as is, you don't have to be rude about it.
I have personal reasons for eliminating the VERY FEW sororities (don't want to give exact number that could reveal school) that I have.

I've already been at the school one semester and formed my own opinions about the girls that I have met personally. Please don't tell me to keep an open mind, trust me, I'm doing that already!
Plus I think I have an advantage seeing some greek women outside of rush and pledge semesters, I got to see the activities they do and how they act as a group.

I'm doing everything I can to get more recs..ugh

Thanks to everyone offering advice.

Forgive me if you think I am being rude.

With all due respect, you did ask for advice and I think the advice you've been given is very realistic.

I don't think that telling a PNM that some of her favorites may not choose to invite her back is rude. It's very possible. It is also more possible for a PNM at a competitive school who is lacking recs.

Note: If you're eliminating sororities before recruitment has even started, you're actually not being open-minded. Being open minded involves waiting until recruitment to form your opinions.

You can't really "know" a chapter after being on campus one semester and meeting a few girls in it.

Another good piece of advice: one group of women that you may know, does not constitute an entire chapter. So while you may know some women in a chapter, it's not wise to form an opinion of a chapter based on the girls you know. It's the same as if someone met a couple of your friends and presumed to know whether they liked you or not. It makes no sense.

The bottom line on this is that you never know how recruitment will play out, and it's best not to rule out a chapter early in the game. Especially if you are at a competitive school.

You're certainly allowed to have whatever opinions you want and you're allowed to rule out whichever chapters you wanr. However, all we're saying is that ruling chapters out prematurely does not help your chances at having a successful recruitment.

[lovedbyloving]

You're certainly allowed to have whatever opinions you want and you're allowed to rule out whichever chapters you wanr. However, all we're saying is that ruling chapters out prematurely does not help your chances at having a successful recruitment.

fair enough.
thanks to all who have responded.

[perfectinpurple]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Another good piece of advice: one group of women that you may know, does not constitute an entire chapter. So while you may know some women in a chapter, it's not wise to form an opinion of a chapter based on the girls you know. It's the same as if someone met a couple of your friends and presumed to know whether they liked you or not. It makes no sense.

Well said! So many times I think PNMs have a negative opinion of one member and assume the rest of the chapter is exactly the same. It's an unfair bias that I think a lot of PNMs carry into recruitment while still believing that they "have an open mind".

Just saying, first impressions aren't always accurate.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

So a couple of you guys came on a little strong
I'm nervous enough as is, you don't have to be rude about it.
I have personal reasons for eliminating the VERY FEW sororities (don't want to give exact number that could reveal school) that I have.

I've already been at the school one semester and formed my own opinions about the girls that I have met personally. Please don't tell me to keep an open mind, trust me, I'm doing that already!
Plus I think I have an advantage seeing some greek women outside of rush and pledge semesters, I got to see the activities they do and how they act as a group.

I'm doing everything I can to get more recs..ugh

Thanks to everyone offering advice.

That's unfortunate that you find answers to your questions rude.

The point I was making is that you already wrote groups off for personal reasons, and to be blunt every group changes every year (even a semester) with women graduating, transferring, maturing, moving out of house, studying abroad, and so on, and though you claim to have an open mind, you in fact don't. I don't care about your reasons, but a truly open mind would go to recruitment with no preconceived notions and give every group a chance to show who they are. If you can live with the fact you're limiting yourself and therefore lessening your chances of joining a sorority, then so be it, but don't say nobody warned you.