Dumpee or Dumper. Which is better?

[AlwaysSAI]

Being dumped usually sucks because a lot of the time the dumpee doesn't see it coming. Sometimes, I think, the dumpee knows it's coming but doesn't want to do it.

I think that being the dumper generally sucks if you still have feelings for the person. Just because you think they are better than sliced bread doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with them. You care about them on some level and you don't want to hurt them, but you have to so that you don't lead them on--and that's the catch 22.

(I don't know if any of that made any sense....)

[Xanthus]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Being dumped usually sucks because a lot of the time the dumpee doesn't see it coming. Sometimes, I think, the dumpee knows it's coming but doesn't want to do it.

I think that being the dumper generally sucks if you still have feelings for the person. Just because you think they are better than sliced bread doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with them. You care about them on some level and you don't want to hurt them, but you have to so that you don't lead them on--and that's the catch 22.

(I don't know if any of that made any sense....)

Exactly. This makes perfect sense. I think in my situation, she had to have suspected it was coming though. We had too many fights for her not to know. I didn't feel I could please her because everything I did for her just wasn't enough. The gifts I bought, the time I spent with her etc. It sucks for me because I still do have feelings for her, and probably always will, but something had to give. Like you said, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way, but if I didn't it would have been the same thing over and over again. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but if I didn't she wouldn't have either.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by Xanthus

Exactly. This makes perfect sense. I think in my situation, she had to have suspected it was coming though. We had too many fights for her not to know. I didn't feel I could please her because everything I did for her just wasn't enough. The gifts I bought, the time I spent with her etc. It sucks for me because I still do have feelings for her, and probably always will, but something had to give. Like you said, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way, but if I didn't it would have been the same thing over and over again. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but if I didn't she wouldn't have either.

Fights don't always indicate the end of a relationship to both parties.

My last long term relationship ended about 2.5 years ago. Towards the end we fought all the time, but I always thought we would work it out. I knew we were fighting and I knew I was pissed at him (as he was at me) more than we were happy with each other. But, I always believed we would work it out and stay together. Looking back now, I can see that it never would have worked and that the fighting was the indication of the end, but my poor little love stricken heart never would have seen it.

On the contrary, I was recently seeing this guy. Nothing serious--no commitment, but we had been seeing each other for about two months. He stopped calling as often and wasn't making time to see me. I knew it was ending but I liked him enough to let it drag out until he ended it. It still sucked when he called to say he didn't see it going anywhere long term, but I knew he was right.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Xanthus

Exactly. This makes perfect sense. I think in my situation, she had to have suspected it was coming though. We had too many fights for her not to know. I didn't feel I could please her because everything I did for her just wasn't enough. The gifts I bought, the time I spent with her etc. It sucks for me because I still do have feelings for her, and probably always will, but something had to give. Like you said, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way, but if I didn't it would have been the same thing over and over again. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but if I didn't she wouldn't have either.

Ever think about the gifts you bought for her could have been something you wanted rather than what she wanted? Just a thought.