Ettiquette questions "is" or "was"

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

To further complicate things, it would be correct to say "She was a XYZ at the University of Hotness" because you would be referring to a specific period of time in the past - so I WAS a Gamma Phi Beta at Texas State University in the 80s. I AM a Gamma Phi who is now active with the Houston Alumnae Group and Katy Panhellenic. Katy Panhellenic has many members who WERE members at many different colleges and universities.

Exactly, which explains the engagement announcements in the paper, because the most common formulation I have seen there is that "Miss Smith attended the University of Texas, where she graduated with a degree in microbiology and was a member of Pi Beta Phi sorority." Saves room in the announcement to do it that way.

I suppose you could argue that they're thinking of their membership as over by using that formulation instead of saying "Miss Smith is a member of Pi Phi," but I tend to think that people who think about their sorority enough after college to list in it their engagement and wedding announcements probably DO consider membership as a lifetime thing.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

And I think some of us are hesitant to use present tense when speaking to non-greeks for fear it looks like we're trying to hang on to our college days a little too much.

That too.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

It's Sunday, so I have nothing better to do than read all the engagement announcements in my local paper. About 50% of them say "Suzy Smith is a graduate of Tech University where she WAS a member of XYZ sorority" and the other 50% say "Suzy Smith is a graduate of Tech University and she IS a member of XYZ sorority". Arent you a member for life so therefore "IS" would be proper? Your thoughts?

We've noticed that as well. I think people are right as to the reasons -- not wanting to look like you're still hanging on to college days too much, framing it in terms of being active in the chapter at college, it has become "the form" for wedding write-ups, etc.

I frankly can't remember how it was worded in our wedding write-up. I have seen similar wording in obituaries. ("He was a graduate of Tech University, where he was a member of XYZ Fraternity.") I was careful when I wrote my father's obituary: "He was a graduate of Tech University, where he was initiated into Kappa Sigma Fraternity."