How can I up my chances

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

Guess what? One night she got wasted with the sisters as usual...but this time she made-out with a sister's crush (she didn't even know the sister was interested in this guy!). No sex, just making out at a public party. Whoops. Anyways the sister flipped out and got in a huge fight with her. Not only did that chapter stop calling her, but other chapters took a step back. She was dropped first night by this chapter and some of the other competitive ones that had been seeking her out.

Moral of the story? Even if they are throwing booze and guys at you, tread with caution...don't be the "party pooper" but be very much aware that so much can go wrong even when so much is "going right".

Amen. I don't go to a deferred school, but I have seen the same things happen with girls. Girls can be catty/dramatic, and even moreso when drinking and boys are involved.

It doesn't take much either. You're out with the ABCs, and a guy that Ashley ABC really likes dances with you and you talk to him. Problem. You may not even know that she likes him, but it's still drama enough for her to decide she doesn't want you in ABC.

Or you're both drunk and you accidentally spill your drink on an ABCs shirt. It's not like you're sober and it's no big deal, but you're drunk so there's potential for "OMG my shirt is wet and I'm drunk and dramatic!" to get started. That's the worst because it doesn't make any sense, but it's still drama enough for one of them to think twice about you during recruitment.

Or one time you guys go out and YOU just happen to get more drunk than the other girls and you maybe do/say something dumb. Or you get wasted and puke in one of their cars or in their apt./dorm. Again, it might not seem like a big deal, but that's enough to make one of them think "do we really want this girl?"

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Again, it might not seem like a big deal, but that's enough to make one of them think "do we really want this girl?"

True...let's face it, we all had those nights that, if it had happened before recruitment, would have made our sisters think that. But it IS a balance between "not partying" and not being seen as anti-social. Don't be "that girl", and watch what parties you attend, but make sure you are seen as social in other ways. Nobody wants the "lush who makes out with anybody in sight and wears a sequined tube top everynight" girl, but they probably don't want "shut-in-room watching old Mary Kate & Ashley videos and devouring Ben & Jerry's every night while her dormmates are having fun" girl either. Not that Mary Kate & Ashley aren't awesome, but you catch my drift.

[anonymouse42]

I agree with all of the warnings about the potential pitfalls of partying with the sorority you want to be in. I don’t think you necessarily need to avoid it entirely, but be rather conservative when you do — only have one or two (not very strong) drinks, if you drink at all, and don’t hook up with anyone. It’s easy to have fun and be fun without risking starting drama by getting to drunk or kissing the wrong boy.

Also keep in mind that even if you have friends who think you will be great in one sorority, not every sister feels that way, especially if you’ve been spending a fair amount of time with the group.

For example, my society does very informal rush, including letting people party with us. There was one girl who some of my closest friends and I really loved; she seemed to fit right in. I was convinced we would ask her to join…until I started talking to some of my other sibs. She had come to some of our parties and made out with a number of guys. It didn’t bother me because I liked her so much, but a lot of other members were bothered by it. Plus it turns out they thought she was kind of annoying, anyway. She didn’t get a bid.

Fortunately, I hadn’t said anything to her about how I felt about her, but if I had, she would have thought she was a shoe in, because that’s what I thought (which is why we strongly discourage members from saying anything other than “the selection process is complicated, I don’t know what will happen” if anyone asks…). I’m sure everyone here has stories about their rush crush who didn’t get asked for one reason or another, even when they thought that girl was awesome and a perfect fit. So, there's really no garentee until you have a bid in your hand. I really agree that you shouldn't get your heart set on only one or two groups yet.

Also, I really can't stress the not getting wildley drunk part enough. My chapter is fairly laid back and will normally forgive someone one or two embarrassing drunken incidents, but even with us, if it is a repeated problem, or if what they do when they get drunk crosses a line (becoming belligerent), than that is definitely a reason someone won’t be getting a bid.