"I love you but I am not IN LOVE with you."

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

Thanks for not being mad at me. Im too lurvley for people to be mad at. lol.

I agree with you that statement is stupid and arrogant in the worst way. If some man told me that I'd go off. I do understand being skeptical of whether someone is being real after only a few months, but I would not degrade someone's feelings by telling them "You're not in love you're in lust". Thats why I had to clarify PB's comment.

I.A.S.K. I respect your opinion and you're entitled to it, but after only a few months you don't really know him. It's important to know how that person is under stress/pressure, how that person is with money etc. Just getting to know that person takes time. But if you think it's possible I won't say you're wrong, because it is possible for something like that to happen.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I.A.S.K. I respect your opinion and you're entitled to it, but after only a few months you don't really know him. It's important to know how that person is under stress/pressure, how that person is with money etc. Just getting to know that person takes time. But if you think it's possible I won't say you're wrong, because it is possible for something like that to happen.

After a few months dating me I will know how you are under stress/pressure, how you treat your family members, what your values are, what your priorties are (if you even have any) and how you are with money as well as many other things. These things can all be found out on dates and in conversations. I agree that getting to know a person takes time and a lot of it, but you don't have to completely know a person to be in love with them. You'd know that you're not in lust if you choose to abstain from sex, are able to discern feelings that are emotional and seperate them from those that are physical and no man looks that good. Not even Boris or Lance or Reggie.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

After a few months dating me I will know how you are under stress/pressure, how you treat your family members, what your values are, what your priorties are (if you even have any) and how you are with money as well as many other things. These things can all be found out on dates and in conversations. I agree that getting to know a person takes time and a lot of it, but you don't have to completely know a person to be in love with them. You'd know that you're not in lust if you choose to abstain from sex, are able to discern feelings that are emotional and seperate them from those that are physical and no man looks that good. Not even Boris or Lance or Reggie.

LMAO @ the end statement!


okay, I see what you mean. I guess I didn't look at it the same way you did. You're right about the sex part. If there is no sex involved, I would have to agree with you here. A lot of people think they know a person after a few years let alone months, and they don't. I'll have to admit I'm one of those guys who used to fall in love quick (or so I thought). I think it was lust though. When I found out my ex was crazy, I fell out of love/lust with her pretty quick, that's why I keep the friendship thing going for a while before I take it further.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LMAO @ the end statement!


I'll have to admit I'm one of those guys who used to fall in love quick (or so I thought). I think it was lust though. When I found out my ex was crazy, I fell out of love/lust with her pretty quick, that's why I keep the friendship thing going for a while before I take it further.

You were probably just "fallin' in like". lol. Cuz if it was love you'd have been on Google (or Google maps) looking up therapists/clinics in your area to get her help. If it was extremely strong lust or real love...you'd even pay for said help.

The freindship thing is cool, but at some point she'll expect you to tell her how you feel about her and saying "I'm your friend" wont cut it. There's big differences between friendship, like, love, and lust. If people knew them then we wouldn't have soap operas.

We still haven't touched the arrogant and stupid part (which I think would make the discussion really interesting), but I'll leave that alone.

[AGDee]

The question really becomes, what is the difference between "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone? Loving is a very deep caring. In love is that very deep caring WITH lust. We love our parents, our children, our friends. We are only in love with that person who we have romantic feelings for and the basis of those romantic feelings is sexual attraction.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yup, that's what I meant. I'm sure it can and has happened, but I would feel that it was too early.

Or do you mean that she is in love with the 'stick'....yeah....that's it....heh!

[cheerfulgreek]

I don't put a time on my feelings especially when it comes to my feelings for someone else.

lol @ Daemon's post.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

The question really becomes, what is the difference between "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone? Loving is a very deep caring. In love is that very deep caring WITH lust. We love our parents, our children, our friends. We are only in love with that person who we have romantic feelings for and the basis of those romantic feelings is sexual attraction.

I love when Dee talks about lust.

This is basically what happened w/ my ex and me. We still loved each other but we weren't feeling that "OMG I really want to jump your bones" thing anymore. Maybe I'm overly romantic, but I think even if you've been w/ someone for 50 years, you should still feel that SOMETIMES.

If the relationship is new and they're already saying it...yes, be Bono and walk on.

[DoctorD]

Originally Posted by AGDee

The question really becomes, what is the difference between "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone? Loving is a very deep caring. In love is that very deep caring WITH lust. We love our parents, our children, our friends. We are only in love with that person who we have romantic feelings for and the basis of those romantic feelings is sexual attraction.

How'd you get to be so smart?

It always amazes me what incredible nuggets of wisdom you have.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DoctorD

How'd you get to be so smart?

It always amazes me what incredible nuggets of wisdom you have.

She's a veritable guru.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by DoctorD

How'd you get to be so smart?

It always amazes me what incredible nuggets of wisdom you have.

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

She's a veritable guru.

Yet, I've never had a successful relationship. It's just all those years of working in psych, listening to folks, analyzing people, etc.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

You were probably just "fallin' in like". lol. Cuz if it was love you'd have been on Google (or Google maps) looking up therapists/clinics in your area to get her help. If it was extremely strong lust or real love...you'd even pay for said help.

The freindship thing is cool, but at some point she'll expect you to tell her how you feel about her and saying "I'm your friend" wont cut it. There's big differences between friendship, like, love, and lust. If people knew them then we wouldn't have soap operas.

We still haven't touched the arrogant and stupid part (which I think would make the discussion really interesting), but I'll leave that alone.

No, I really did love her, but I stopped liking her. We were together for a long time. She was just possessive nuts. She was already on medication. lol I didn't find out about it until I caught her poppin' pills. Plus that whole relationship was built on lies. She told me that if she told me the truth about her past, I wouldn't have been with her, and she was right, I wouldn't have. It's a long drawn out story. That was almost 6 years ago. If I told you everything I did for her you would know that I really loved her. I'm glad we're not together anymore though.

When I said friendship I meant that I wouldn't fall in love with someone that I wouldn't be friends with. For example, I may be physically attracted to one kind of woman, but find that I'm better friends with another type and actually have more of a relationship with the friend than the one I'm physically attracted to. My biggest problem I used to run into, is I wouldn't get involved romantically with average looking women with great personalities. I would go for the gorgeous ones who were the total opposite of me. The chemistry wasn't there. I always wanted both. Fine with a great personality. Someone I have chemistry with who I'm physically attracted to. I wouldn't choose a woman as a friend that I wouldn't have anything in common with. I used to jump right in and skip the friendship part. I didn't do that with the young lady I'm seeing now. We were friends for a long time, before I wanted more from her. So friendship is important. I also think it's important to like the person before you can love them.

As far as the arrogant and stupid thing is concerned....uhh yeah that was pretty arrogant. But I didn't realize it until it was reversed on me. After that post and your response to it, I called my girl up and asked her what she would do if I made a comment like that to her after she told me how she felt about me. At 1st I thought her response would have been the opposite of yours, but she pretty much said the same thing you did. She said she would be very offended. I aksed her why and she reversed the question on me, and I was offended. So yeah, you were right and I was wrong. The arrogant part I didn't see, because I wasn't thinking about arrogance even though that's the way it sounded, but I was just thinking about not really knowing the person. That's all. But yeah, that hit home, and I thank you for that.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Or do you mean that she is in love with the 'stick'....yeah....that's it....heh!

Dead.

[I.A.S.K.]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

After that post and your response to it, I called my girl up and asked her what she would do if I made a comment like that to her after she told me how she felt about me. At 1st I thought her response would have been the opposite of yours, but she pretty much said the same thing you did. She said she would be very offended. I aksed her why and she reversed the question on me, and I was offended. Hella LOL at you being offended at you! But yeah, that hit home, and I thank you for that.

You're welcomes.

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Or do you mean that she is in love with the 'stick'....yeah....that's it....heh!

From what I've seen "stick" is a mighty powerful thing. lol. Hell, it must be if it will make a woman drive in a diaper so she doesn't have to make any stops on her way to get the stick. lol. The problems "IT" causes never cease to amaze me.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.

You're welcomes.


From what I've seen "stick" is a mighty powerful thing. lol. Hell, it must be if it will make a woman drive in a diaper so she doesn't have to make any stops on her way to get the stick. lol. The problems "IT" causes never cease to amaze me.

RIGHT??? LOL