Disappointed mom

[srmom]

Lets say that Daughter joins a "lower tier" chapter in college, however she ends up going to a top law school and ends up working for one of the top law firms in NYC (or something equally lucrative). Does a mother STILL feel she failed at raising her? If so, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

It depends on who she marries TOTALLY just kidding!!!!

I didn't check in all weekend, but after reading the OP and subsequent posts, I think this is a hoax. I mean come on, what mom would post that? If there is someone who actually would put in writing on the internet those personal and painful feelings (to both her and her daughter), I'll eat my hat...

I live in the south, in a very competitive area, where the first question at mom's happy hours in September is, "Where did your daughter/son pledge?"

Very often, the story that is told is about a sad rush experience (not everyone's kid is going to pledge a "top house"), and NOONE is judgemental. Noone tsks and speaks behind the back of the mom that she didn't raise Susie Q well enough to get in XYZ. This is ridiculous and a total charicature of a heli-southern-mom.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Xidelt

Is this mom for real?

I tend to doubt it as well, but I'll play along.

Originally Posted by BadCat25

I assume Disappointed Mom lives in the South and unless you do you will never understand how she feels. . . . Like I said, if you are not from the South you will never understand.

Bless your heart.

Originally Posted by sail100

Yes this is the South, and some posters get it. It is really impossible to explain to those who don't live here. I remember going through rush in the 80's and how my roommate's best friend got cut from her legacy house and eventually was released from all houses. Her mother got countless condolence calls from her sorority alumnae as well as from her friends in other sororities.

And bless your heart, too.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ok. so this is apparently a common sentiment in the South.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

It is not a common sentiment in the south. In the south, the reputations of college chapters may play big in hometowns, but it's not normal or common for mothers to want daughters to drop chapters that the daughters are apparently happy in.

I think it's common or normal for mom's to feel disappointed when their daughters don't end up in the chapters that they want, but not to do what this mom is doing in terms of debating whether to encourage her daughter to drop before initiation.

It would be far more common for everyone to appreciate that mother and daughter might be disappointed, but to admire them more for supporting the chapter who actually wanted to offer membership to the girl.

Seriously, I've never seen a case in real life in which a mom remained ashamed of her daughter's chapter months after bid day.

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

But I tend to think the more authentically prominent you are, the less it matters. It's the social climbers who will be heartbroken.

Thank you!!!

Originally Posted by shadden

I have read the original e-mail several times, and just can't see why everyone sees her the absolute worst mom.

Because her post reads as though concern for her daughter is not the overriding matter here -- her own embarrassment is. I'm embarrassed for the mom.