When I was an active, I was in a similar situation where I felt like (along with a couple of other sisters) my chapter was going down the tubes. We didn't have numbers problems but we did have other problems that were causing lots and lots of drama in the group. We put it before the whole chapter, nothing got done (except it caused a big fight), we called our advisor, nothing got done, finally we had to have a heart to heart with a Leadership Consultant.
This caused HUGE drama in the chapter, because they claimed that "no one told them" and we "just went over everybody's heads," even our Chapter advisor claimed that we never talked to her, even though I had phone bills that proved that I called her and spent over an hour on the phone with her at least three times before the LC got there.
Regardless, that's just my personal drama - not really part of the advice I'm going to give you.
Find out who, in the chapter, is in line with your ideals. The more there are of you, the better (in my situation it was 3 out of 40 that were vocal about their concerns, and about 4 others that agreed but were not vocal about it - not really great odds). Try to figure out a way to bring it up to chapter that the bid thing was upsetting to you guys, and you really felt like this PNM in particular would have been a great asset to the chapter. Talk to them, and weigh the options of a recruitment advisor. See if you guys can get a recruitment advisor in there to help you out WITHOUT pulling THAT drama into the mix.
As far as the underage drinking goes - it's going to happen. I don't know one member of my chapter that did not have a drink, underage, at various sorority functions. Mixers with fraternities that are not at third party vendors happen. It's stupid and goes against the RM policies of your sorority (in fact, it might go against the RM policies of ALL NPC organizations), but they happen. Does your chapter have a membership or standards chair? Ours was on exec board (Vice President of Member Development), and we had "talks" during business meetings about the negative aspects of facebook, and how important it was to realize that we're representing our chapter, even on the internet. Our VPMD often said "it's alright to have pictures of girls having fun (bowling, going to the movies, going to sporting events), it's not alright to have pictures of girls getting drunk."
Sometimes the drinking issue you can't really fight until something bad happens, unfortunately. But you can promote responsible drinking situations, and promote the values that keep you together and help you take care of each other.
And I'd definitely talk to someone about advisors giving out bids.
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