Loved Ones Agianst Sororities :(

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

I told him, he's crying, and he broke up with me and called me a groupie.

Good for you. Go to that meeting, find out what it's about, and start living your life FOR YOU.

Best of luck.

[Senusret I]

I may have missed this..... how does he think you can get sisterhood with over a hundred thousand women without a sorority?

[Spinderella]

RareTreasure,

Heed the words of all who have replied to you, along with mine.

I too, sat in your place when I was in undergrad, but what I am going to tell you is the story of what happens when you marry a man like that, thinking that his control is 'love'.

Do not mistake control for love or caring. When I was in u-grad, over 18 years ago, I was in the midst of trying to 'rush' a sorority. Then I met 'him'.

He was so kind, and what tripped me up was his desire to spend every waking moment with me. I hadn't been with any guy on campus who was 'mature' enough to want a one-on-one relationship, like what my guy was offering. I made a choice to be with him instead of following my heart. This decision was 'easy' to make at the time, since after all, he told me that he thought sororities were for weak minded women and that I was stronger than those women. He played on my ego and my weariness in trying to penetrate the ranks to gain acceptance from the chapter.

But I was the weak minded one because I listened to 1 man, instead of understanding the history of the hundreds of thousands of women who had made this organization continue to exist for what is soon to be 100 years. I didn't know enough to make a better, more informed decision.

So I let go of my dream for love.

Well, 18 years later, I have kids and am in a marriage to a control freak; I pray every day for a reasonable way to get out of it. I have tried to reclaim my youth but I can't turn back the hands no matter how hard I try. My heart has been broken twice as I have tried to gain alumnae membership into the beloved sorority of my choice.

My husband, in the meanwhile, has joined a fraternity. Funny, the word on the street that I am receiving is that he blocked my chances by talking to the right people. He is just that controlling.

RareTreasure, you are just that, a rare treasure, so follow your heart and run from that BOY. He will never be the MAN that you deserve.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

Lord no!!!! I'm normally the happy one! But this is totally out of character for me. Thats why I'm sooo clueless as to what to say so that we wont be offended!

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

So....he says i have no integrity......and he says that i just want to be a part of something. My reasons aren't "real" enough to him, and he says that i said i would never go through some of the stuff when it was 1st brought to my attention.....now, just to be a part of something i will.

I keep telling him he just doesn't get it.

Sounds like he didn't have any qualms about offending you. That should tell you something about his character compared to yours.

You need to do what makes you happy. Someone who truly loves you will support you doing what makes you happy. If they don't support it or worse are actively against it, then major warning bells should go off.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

So....he says i have no integrity......and he says that i just want to be a part of something. My reasons aren't "real" enough to him, and he says that i said i would never go through some of the stuff when it was 1st brought to my attention.....now, just to be a part of something i will.

I keep telling him he just doesn't get it.

Why are you still talking to him?

[FlaGirl07]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Why are you still talking to him?

DITTO.

I've been with my guy for over 5 years also, and if he tried to pull that crap on me you better believe I would end things. Your guy (ex-guy?) is being extremely insecure. I hope you look at the bigger picture and realize you don't need some guy trying to run your life.

[RareTreasure]

i really dont wanna leave him.....but he doesn't want to be with me because of this

[33girl]

Let me put it simply.

Your boyfriend is an insecure, controlling dickhead.

If you give in to him on this, 2-5-10 years down the road there will be something ELSE that he doesn't want you to do - only this time it might affect your career, your relationship with your family, or your physical and/or mental health.

If your relationship is 1/10th of what you've told us about, you need to GET OUT NOW. He broke up with you - thank God he has at least a little pride!! He made it easy.

Walk away, and DON'T LOOK BACK.

[RareTreasure]

It's easier said then done........he just feels that i am week

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

So....he says i have no integrity......and he says that i just want to be a part of something. My reasons aren't "real" enough to him, and he says that i said i would never go through some of the stuff when it was 1st brought to my attention.....now, just to be a part of something i will.

I keep telling him he just doesn't get it.

I would say that saying he doesn't get it is an extreme understatement.

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

i really dont wanna leave him.....but he doesn't want to be with me because of this

Listen to 33girl and everyone else. He's telling you that he doesn't want to be with you because you're thinking for yourself and not doing what he says.

If he doesn't want to be with the real you, then why in the world would you want to be with him?

To the OP, if you don't want to take our advice, fine.

Ultimately the decision is up to you. You can choose to stay stuck in this shit, or you can get out, like many GCers have advised.

Most normal people would want to take the necessary steps to make their lives better.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by RareTreasure

It's easier said then done........he just feels that I am weak

He is the weak one, not you. Unless you do something asinine like beg him to take you back.

[Senusret I]

She will.

[RareTreasure]

Originally Posted by OTW

Most normal people would want to take the necessary steps to make their lives better.

If I am given the opportunity to join...then i will be taking it. I am going to do it, and I am not going to back down......but I want him to support me. All i want out of him right now is to get over all that he has in his head (good or bad) and support me.

So joining in not in question....

[RareTreasure]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

She will.

Your right.....I'm going to talk him out of making a bad decision, because in the end...whichever way......with him or without......I will still end up happy. Its him that i am worried about.